Category Archives: real life

Talk Therapy vs. ERP Therapy

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Therapy through Magnifying Glass on Old Paper.Sometimes I give talk therapy a rough time on this blog– but, please know that I am not against talk therapy (I see a talk therapist weekly for panic and adjustment disorder). I am merely against talk therapy for OCD.

I spent about four years meeting with talk therapists about my OCD. Once a week, I’d sit down, talk about my fears and confess my struggles– and my therapist would reassure me.  In other words, it was a one-hour compulsion fest.

Not good.

Every single OCD expert will tell you to skip talk therapy and do exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy.

Look, I get it: talk therapy is easier. In fact, in comparison to exposure therapy, it’s a walk in the park and ERP is a walk in hell.

But it’s not effective for treating OCD.

Talk therapy, which is lovely and helpful and beneficial for so many other disorders, naturally enables many OCD compulsions.

Four years in talk therapy didn’t make a dent in my OCD. Twelve weeks in ERP therapy mastered my OCD.

It’s just about know what treatments are effective. Band-aids go on scrapes, insulin is used for diabetes, chemotherapy for cancer, ERP for OCD.

I do love my talk therapist, but I don’t ever let us venture into the realm of treating OCD. Yes, we draw parallels– all the time, actually!– but I know that if my OCD flares up, I will turn to an exposure, not to a compulsion.

Have questions about ERP therapy vs. traditional talk therapy?  Let’s chat!

Author/Editor Disagreements

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disagreementWhat happens when an author and her editor disagree?

I’ll admit that not knowing the answer to this question is what started my intense bouts of panic, which started almost immediately after I was offered my book deal.

Now, nearly one year later (the first panic “attack”– I’m not sure it was a full-blown panic attack, but that is the best way that I can think to describe it– occurred on November 22, 2013), I have an answer to that question, though, of course, I can only answer from the perspective of my own partnership with my brilliant and beloved editor at Katherine Tegen Books.

She let me win.

Granted, I took nearly every suggestion she gave. She really is a genius when it comes to YA literature, and though feedback often stings, in almost every case, I could see why she made the suggestions, and when I took them, I loved the results.

There was only one thing– and it’s a big SPOILER, so I can’t share yet!– where she and I were on opposite sides of the fence, and I stressed and stressed and stressed.  Panic rolled off me in waves. I was sick over it, and cried my heart out to my team, prayed for a solution from God. Finally, I just explained my reasoning for my decision, detailing how important it was to me, and my editor said, Then let’s do it your way. I get it now. But we’ll work on it.

And we did.

And Truest is better for it.

She also let me win several smaller victories too, once I explained my reasoning. She has been so, so respectful of the fact that this is my story– my baby— and she wants me to be happy with it.

I am.

You guys, I cannot wait for you to read my story.

Books I Re-Read LIKE A BOSS

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HK.ColinI’ve heard all the reasons before for why people don’t re-read books– and I’ll allow each his own– but I really can’t understand it. Refusing to re-read favorite books is, to me, the equivalent of saying, “Why would I want to hang out with my best friend? I’ve done that before, and there are so many new people to meet.”

Can. Not. Fathom.

Did you know that I listen to The Chronicles of Narnia nearly every single night as I fall asleep? They are my faithful bedtime story, and I never get sick of them. I’ve been known to listen to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe multiple times in a row: I listen, it ends, I start it over, it’s all good. One time I listened to The Horse and His Boy something like five or six times in one month. Every year I plan to keep track of how often I read these books in the course of a year, but sometime halfway through, I lose track.

The Book Thief is always, always a fantastic re-read.  The snowman in the basement and the hair like lemons and the sun painted on the wall. This book is one of the novels that changed my life, and returning to it is like returning home, like finding myself in the space where the light flipped on in my writer heart.

I could never tire of re-reading The Last Unicorn. There are lines in this novel that are like friends to me. I could never tire of them. Every single time I re-read them, I feel astonished, as if I just found a diamond resting under a leaf. I would surrender wheelbarrows of unread manuscripts just to make sure that I could keep this one in my possession forever.

Then, of course, there’s scripture– which is the only living and active book I know. I will re-read this one for life. (And, yes, I meant that two ways.)

How about you? Which books can you read over and over and over again?  Or– if you don’t re-read– try to convince me you’re sane. 🙂

Image credit: HK.Colin

Another 10 Random Facts about Me

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1. I do not eat fish.

2. My celebrity crush is Theo James. I made this because I’m a nerd:
revisionlove

3. I’d like to travel to Australia, given the chance.

4. I love cats but am allergic to them. (We had battalions of cats growing up– farm cats, not house cats.)

5. I was terribly shy when I was young. This shocks most people, since almost all traces of that shyness evaporated long ago.

6. I’m quite captivated by Dickon from The Secret Garden. I’m not sure if I want to marry the grown-up version of him or keep him in my pocket as a magical child.

7. I scored higher on my math ACT subscores than in my English subscores. I was a straight-A math student all the way through college calculus II, where I stopped.

8. I really dislike being cold and remember that every winter that I stay in this forsaken state. (I love you, Minnesota, but come on: 30 below is too much.)

9. I’m sort of obsessed with wind turbines. I even managed to include a wind farm in my book.

10. My three self-proclaimed leadership principles are faithfulness, humility, and creativity.

Writing Ergonomics: Investing in Myself, My Career, & My Wrists

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I’ve had problems with my wrists for years. At their worst, I couldn’t carry a book with just one hand or open a car door. Mercifully, the pain wasn’t constant but would come and go.

This year, I asked the chiropractor for help– and it turned out not to be an issue with my spine, so she sent me to my regular doctor, who said my problems were from overuse. Overuse? Me? I’m just a writer and blogger and … oh. You mean typing directly on a laptop at work all day and then directly on a laptop (on the couch, at that) all night might be rough on my hands and wrists?

I talked to my supervisor about getting an ergonomic set-up at my office desk. We elevated my laptop, located a better chair, and purchased an ergonomic keyboard.

This beast of a thing:

work keyboard

 

 

 

 

 

 

At home was a little trickier. I didn’t think I had room in my small apartment for a desk, so at first, I purchased some wrist pads for my laptop, but it was pretty clear that they weren’t doing much– plus, they got in the way and slowed me down.

So, I did some rearranging in my head, hopped on Craigslist, and found an amazing old desk that I immediately fell in love with.

Here it is, in my apartment. Isn’t it gorgeous?

new desk

 

After that, I did a ton of research about keyboards. I knew I didn’t want such a huge keyboard as the one I used at work, but I wanted a good one that was still affordable. I kicked out a little more than I’d have liked for the Kinesis Freestyle, but I love it:

kinesis freestyle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I thought it would take me longer to get used to it, but I just did a ton of my line edits on it, and I’m adjusting quickly. It’s amazing so far.

I also bought:

Goldtouch gel-filled palm supports

goldtouch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

an Innovera mouse pad with gel wrist pad

innovera

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and this TeckNet wireless mouse.

tecknet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love the whole set-up. It feels so good.

In addition, my mom reupholstered my desk chair to add a LOT of padding.

Didn’t she do a great job??

mom chair

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, I’ve taken to icing my wrists after long bouts of writing.

I use these TheraPearl wraps. I just toss them in the freezer, then wrap them around my wrists. They stay cold for about 20 minutes or so, feel good, and keep my hands and fingers free to keep working.

thera pearl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did this cost me a lot? Yes, but not as much as you might expect. All told, it was about $300, including the desk, which is either an antique or at least looks like one!

I’m a 32-year-old writer. I plan to be writing for many, many years to come. It was time for me to invest myself and my career, and I’m so glad I did!

Wizards and Princesses and Unicorns, Oh My!: That Time I Met Peter Beagle

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The Last Unicorn is one of my all-time favorite books, so when I found that its author Peter S. Beagle would be in Minneapolis for a special screening of the movie, I knew I had to go. My roommate Chelsea agreed to come along.

It’s safe to say we had no idea what we were getting into.

Peter Beagle 4The Riverview in Minneapolis is a 1950s-style theater, and it was packed to the gills with an eclectic bunch that night: bronies, high fantasy enthusiasts, Lady Amalthea cosplayers, and even someone in a unicorn “suit.”

There was Q&A with Peter Beagle (in which he said of one of his favorite lines, “It was either dumb luck or some kind of blessing”– my thoughts here), and the movie was fun (it’s been a while since I’ve seen it). Afterward, Chelsea and I waited in line for nearly two hours in order to meet Peter himself.

I had so many things I wanted to tell him– how much his novel mattered to me, my favorite line from it (“He thought, or said, or sang, I did not know that I was so empty, to be so full.“), what a huge fan I am … but what (lamely) ended tumbling out of my mouth was that I am a writer too and that my first book is being released next year. Peter was so sweet; he signed my book and smiled and said softly, “I remember that feeling.” Then he told me, “Don’t believe your best or your worst reviews.”

Peter Beagle crop

All in all, it was a fun, strange, lovely evening.

Questions from Blog Readers

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questions from blog readersWhat is something you really want to learn but haven’t had the time to learn yet?
I’d love to learn to be a visual artist, whatever that might look like for me. I wish I could draw, paint, sculpt, photograph, design, and/or animate.

Have you or do you plan to be part of any collaborative writing projects?
I am writing a poem right now with my brilliant friend Mary. You can read some of her poetry here. I imagine that I’d have a really, really difficult time trying to collaborate with someone on fiction. I’m a bit too opinionated and headstrong for that to be a good experience.

How long have you worked at UNW? Have you had the same job there since you started or has your job changed? Is it difficult to write and work at UNW?
I’ve been working at the University of Northwestern since September of 2003. I work in the admissions office, and I’ve held three different positions while there. I started as an admission counselor; then, for a time, I was both an admission counselor and the recruitment manager. These days, I am a senior admission counselor and so glad for it. It was very, very difficult to manage my writing life and my recruiting life when I was in management. Now that those duties are no longer on my plate, I have a lot more free time and space to write!

If you could choose any genre to write other than YA, what would it be and why?
I would probably write adult contemporary fiction. I would love to be able to write fantasy, but I just don’t seem to have the capacity for that. (Maybe one day!) I’d also love to write short stories. That is not an area I excel in, though from time to time I have an idea that seems to demand the medium. But in a lot of ways, short stories are harder for me to write than novels.

If you could marry anyone in the whole world, who would it be?
Augustus Waters. Or Silas Hart. Unfortunately, they are both fictional. And seventeen.

What is your favorite food?
Chocolate. Cheese.

Why did you start this blog?
I started my blog originally as a platform for my writing career. That, and to help lead people with OCD to freedom.

What do you like to do when not writing?
Spend time with friends, read, shop online (the online part is very important– I rather dislike shopping in stores!), play with my favorite kiddos, and learn (I love poking around on Quora and Wikipedia. I also subscribe to Today I Found Out and A Word a Day. I also read reference books. Really. And I will get excited about an idea and check out about 20+ library books about it and read up.).

Do you want to be a full time writer someday, without a day job?
I’d love for writing to one day be my day job!

What are some movies that you like or hate (especially book adaptations)?
I love the Harry Potter movies. I love the latest rendition of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and am excited for The Silver Chair to come out (not till 2017). I really liked the adaptations for The Book Thief, Divergent, and The Fault in Our Stars. I cannot wait for the Jellicoe Road movie to come out!

Do you have kids?
I do not. But I have kids in my life who own my heart. My friend Tracy’s four little kiddos are the ones I’m always referring to on my blog. This fall I will add two new little girls to that queue, as two of my other best friends are having their first babies!

When did you accept Jesus into your heart?
When I was 14 years old, in 1996. I finally was set free from the bondage of OCD in 2008 and have truly delighted in my Christianity since then.

These are great questions. If you have others, never hesitate to ask!

Dear Diary: September 2014

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dd sept 14September was a wild ride. A roller coaster, if you will.

Truest is almost done. I sent a final-ish draft to my editor at the beginning of the month, received line edits back just this last Friday, and will make small revisions and turn it in yet this week. It gets better and better with every draft. I can’t believe that after this, there will only be copyediting to do!  I’ve gotten to see some mock-ups of possible book covers, and I’m really excited about them. The release date hasn’t been set yet (or at least I don’t know it), but it will likely be around this time next year. I can’t wait!  A whole year!  I hope it goes by fast, but I also hope that I can take lots of time to enjoy it.

I met Peter S. Beagle, the author of one of my favorite books. It was a hilarious night. Full post coming later this week!

I hosted a baby shower … and also attended a baby funeral. The first delighted my heart; the second absolutely broke it. I’ll admit my faith was quite shaken, and God and I had to have a lot of talks in the past couple weeks as he sorted my thoughts and theology out.

I listened to a review panel debate the merits of my grant proposal. They basically hated me. I’m not counting on that grant money at all.  Oh well. I’ll try again next summer!  (I can be quite relentless sometimes.)

I got the best email I’ve ever gotten, maybe in my whole life. My editor said (among other wonderful things):

I don’t know why it took me so long to finish this version. But I just did and all I can say is WOW. I just think it’s the kind of book that will change kids and adults, too–forever.

A whirlwind month. How was yours?

Jackie, the Child Writer

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Student

Some of my stories from growing up:

In third grade, I invented the Pononia family and spent time exploring the romance between Billy Pononia and his girlfriend Kate. When they left for college (a concept I could hardly fathom), they didn’t know how to find one another (because obviously a dating couple wouldn’t share where they were each going, right?) and Billy had to search long and hard for Kate, who had given up on him and was starting to love another man. But when Billy tracked her down (on her college campus!), he fought that man (of course!) and ended up marrying Kate. That’s romance right there, people.

Around sixth grade, my sister Kristin, neighbor Amber, and I started the Story Society, which was to meet weekly in our awesome clubhouse (a room in our motorcycle shed that I’d cleaned out and whose walls I adorned with a freehand painting of a castle with just one light on in one of the turrets). We were supposed to write one story each week, read them aloud to one another, and then offer feedback. My first story was about a jealous best friend taking archery lessons who ended up shooting her best friend’s boyfriend– but her best friend jumped in front of the boyfriend, and the arrow pierced both their hearts.  Tragic. Then the Story Society disbanded.

In junior high, I authored a soap opera. I’d write “episodes” in a green notebook labelled “Sunnyside High,” which my friends passed amongst themselves before it would end up back in my hands. Then I’d write a few more episodes for everyone. This soap opera was full-on drama: a teen pregnancy, a long-lost twin, a rebel who’d gotten AIDS from a tainted blood transfusion after his motorcycle accident. Sheer gold.

I also wrote a story about two best friends competing for just one spot on the track team. (Note to self: maybe stay away from writing sports stories, mmmkay?) I also penned a stunning mystery where a girl kept seeing her dead boyfriend. Hot.

Then there was my novella about a teen cheerleader who developed emphysema. Let me tell you; this was intense. I finished the story around 2 am in the dark in our family room, only the light from the computer screen to illuminate the tears that flowed down my cheeks.

In high school I turned my attention to bad, melodramatic free verse poetry, but that’s a whole other post. I’ll spare you for now. 🙂

If you’re a writer, do you remember some of your earliest creations? Were they dramatic and over-the-top like mine?