It took me approximately five years to get on the right medication.
Over the course of the five years, I experienced the following:
* rapid weight gain (30 pounds in one month)
* deep lethargy, during which air felt stale and I had to nap for 2+ hours every day after work
* mind vomit (a phrase I coined, meaning that taking the medication exacerbated my OCD, sending me into frenetic, panicked obsessions)
* a visible tremor
* drymouth, as stanch as if I were eating Saltines and peanut butter
* dizziness and vision loss, usually paired together (One time I had a whole conversation with someone without telling him I couldn’t actually see him … I hope I appeared to be looking him in the eyes. The dizziness/vision loss combo happened so often that I actually got used to it, could continue walking across my apartment without even slowing my step.)
* Jello-legs, so terrible that I had to lean against the stairwell wall as I descended from my second-floor apartment
* excessive sweating
* lactation (you think I’m kidding, but I’m not)
* a spasm of pain in my back that once DROPPED me to the floor like I’d been tackled from behind
* an allergic reaction that nearly killed me (please, PLEASE do not take new meds unless you have Benadryl in your home!)
And then along came Dr. Suck-Won Kim, my sweet, wonderful expert psychiatrist, who got me onto my perfect dosage of Prozac, Effexor XR, and Risperdal.
And want to know what?
It was all worth it.