NCWC Querying 101

To all the new friends I met at the writing conference last weekend, welcome to my little corner of the internet. I’ve linked the querying presentation below, as well as some other posts that may be of interest. Pull up a seat. You are welcome here.

Querying 101

Other posts that may be of interest to you:
Querying: My Story
Thoughts on Writing: 14 Steps to Getting Started
Thoughts on Writing: Query to Contract
Thoughts on Writing: Navigating the Road to Publication

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InstaThoughts

Sooooo glad for a weekend to rest and recuperate after a week that was basically my perfect storm:
Writing conference (super fun but required a huge toll of energy)
Heat index of 114°
Broken AC
Construction woes
PMS
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But now the weekend is here. Rest, relief, Queer Eye, Finale by @stephanie_garber, curiosity, growth, and building my empire.
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#blog #spoonielife
#spoontheory #spoonie #chronicillness #heatintolerance #dysautonomia
#reading #ireadya #writing #writinglife #buildingmyempire

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InstaThoughts

So, after I posted about #heatintolerance the other day, my #AC went out.
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It’s fixed now, but there are still repurcussions. It’s noon, and I’m still in bed. My hands feel swollen, my hips kill, I slept 12 hours and finally feel like I could maybe make it down the stairs.
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I usually beat myself up on days like this, which is honestly silly. I know what happens when I pass a certain point in overheating. So why do I still feel surprised when exactly that happens??
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Adding insult to injury: my left eyelid is swollen. My body is so pissed at me for not getting an HVAC guy out on Tuesday and waiting till Wednesday. I’m sorry, body. Rest please. Have some spoons.
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Anyway, all this to say: yup, the heat intolerance formula still works! 😉 But I hope by resting today, SERIOUSLY RESTING, I will be back to business tomorrow.
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(I feel so guilty. My coworkers bear the brunt of this. They NEVER complain, but I still feel guilty.) Alas, with my #radicalacceptance experiment, I’ve committed to not shaming myself, so I need to just own that this is what it is, I couldn’t anticipate my AC breaking, I took action to fix it, and now I am taking action to fix my body. That’s all I can do, right?
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#blog #spoonielife #spoonie #spoontheory #dysautonomia #chronicillness #inbedagain

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So, after I posted about #heatintolerance the other day, my #AC went out. . . It's fixed now, but there are still repercussions. It's noon, and I'm still in bed. My hands feel swollen, my hips kill, I slept 12 hours and finally feel like I could maybe make it down the stairs. . . I usually beat myself up on days like this, which is honestly silly. I know what happens when I pass a certain point in overheating. So why do I still feel surprised when exactly that happens?? . . Adding insult to injury: my left eyelid is swollen. My body is so pissed at me for not getting an HVAC guy out on Tuesday and waiting till Wednesday. I'm sorry, body. Rest please. Have some spoons. . . Anyway, all this to say: yup, the heat intolerance formula still works! 😉 But I hope by resting today, SERIOUSLY RESTING, I will be back to business tomorrow. . . (I feel so guilty. My coworkers bear the brunt of this. They NEVER complain, but I still feel guilty.) Alas, with my #radicalacceptance experiment, I've committed to not shaming myself, so I need to just own that this is what it is, I couldn't anticipate my AC breaking, I took action to fix it, and now I am taking action to fix my body. That's all I can do, right? . . #blog #spoonielife #spoonie #spoontheory #dysautonomia #chronicillness #inbedagain

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InstaThoughts

A girl and her ice pack
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I’ve been trying to describe extreme #heatintolerance this past week. .
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Picture at which point your own able body starts to hit breaking point due to heat… Is it at 90°? 100°? What temperature or humidity level starts to make you crumble, lose all energy and even the ability to think straight? At what temp does it feel like you can’t breathe?
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For me, it starts around 65-70°. By the time it gets to 85-90° I’m essentially incapable of functioning. Picture an hourglass where the central skinny neck suddenly expands to drop ALL of the sand (i.e. energy)– WHAM!– all at once. It’s 9 am and you’ve got nothing left to give.
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One step at a time till autumn, a slog to kinder days.
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#blog #dysautonomia #heatintoleranceproblems #fibro #fibromyalgia #spoonielife #spoonie #spoontheory #chronicillness

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A girl and her ice pack . . I've been trying to describe extreme #heatintolerance this past week. . . Picture at which point your own able body starts to hit breaking point due to heat… Is it at 90°? 100°? What temperature or humidity level starts to make you crumble, lose all energy and even the ability to think straight? At what temp does it feel like you can't breathe? . . For me, it starts around 65-70°. By the time it gets to 85-90° I'm essentially incapable of functioning. Picture an hourglass where the central skinny neck suddenly expands to drop ALL of the sand (i.e. energy)– WHAM!– all at once. It's 9 am and you've got nothing left to give. . . One step at a time till autumn, a slog to kinder days. . . #blog #dysautonomia #heatintoleranceproblems #fibro #fibromyalgia #spoonielife #spoonie #spoontheory #chronicillness

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InstaThoughts

From “The Hero is You” by Kendra Levin…
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“… driven by the question, What’s wrong with me? The question her Mentor replaced this with was, Which parts of myself need to be loved today?
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Wow. Yes.
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#blog #writing #writinglife #writingadvice #mentor #SelfCare #radicalacceptance #radicalselfacceptance #author

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InstaThoughts

When reevaluating my goals for the rest of 2019, I decided to make a wild choice: to quit being so terrible to myself. What if I just… QUIT? Quit with the negative self talk, quit with the shame, and just CHOSE confidence, or at least chose to fake confidence.
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Courage is not the absence of fear; it’s bravery in spite of fear. What if I treated confidence the same way? Not the absence of insecurity, but boldness in spite of it. I’m not sure if that makes sense to anyone else.
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There is some evidence that “fake it till you make it” works (with caveats). And stigma and shame are not motivating. So, let’s see. A six-month experiment. Come January 1st, let’s see how I feel about my body, my writing, myself.
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I already feel freedom. How fitting to decide this while celebrating Independence Day.
#blog #courage #shame #radicalacceptance #radicalselfacceptance #bodypositivity #bodyposi #writing #writingcourage #freedom #confidence #choosecourage #noshame #endstigma

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When reevaluating my goals for the rest of 2019, I decided to make a wild choice: to quit being so terrible to myself. What if I just… QUIT? Quit with the negative self talk, quit with the shame, and just CHOSE confidence, or at least chose to fake confidence. . . Courage is not the absence of fear; it's bravery in spite of fear. What if I treated confidence the same way? Not the absence of insecurity, but boldness in spite of it. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone else. . . There is some evidence that "fake it till you make it" works (with caveats). And stigma and shame are not motivating. So, let's see. A six-month experiment. Come January 1st, let's see how I feel about my body, my writing, myself. . . I already feel freedom. How fitting to decide this while celebrating Independence Day. #blog #courage #shame #radicalacceptance #radicalselfacceptance #bodypositivity #bodyposi #writing #writingcourage #freedom #confidence #choosecourage #noshame #endstigma

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My Life-Long Pursuit of Becoming a Robot

I have spent most of my life believing that if I could whittle life down to a very particular, incredibly productive routine, I would be a Success Machine.

I still am in pursuit of that elusive routine. Even though 37 years of experience has taught me that it doesn’t exist– or that it would be impossible to maintain.

But I don’t give up on the idea. I want to be a machine (albeit with creative and emotional capacities) that Achieves.

Why is this lie not one I’m willing to give up on yet? In fact, I’m not even sure i’m ready yet to label it a lie. Is it a lie?

I know that this holiday weekend, I will devote time to crafting and refining that routine once again, trying to crack that code.

Is there a code?

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OCD Question Policy

As I’ve mentioned before, I get more questions about HOCD than anything else. Even after adding a disclaimer to my question form (directing people with HOCD questions to my most thorough HOCD post), they still pour in.

And I get it. No one wants a general HOCD post; everyone wants to share their specific story and ask specific questions and get specific reassurance. 

But I can’t, friends. I’m so sorry. I wish I could bear the burdens of everyone with grace and ease and without taking on anxious energy, but I don’t have the emotional capacity for that. Therapists get paid for this sort of work; they are trained for it; you have to set up an appointment, whereas my question form makes it seem like I am available 24/7 to handle OCD concerns.

Even if I post my policy online, even if people get my auto-response full of resources, people still email over and over or else find me on social media. I get this as well. Remember, I know what it is like to have that intense fear, that terror that drives you to seek answers. I know what it is like. I’ve been in those shoes.

My heart so deeply loves the OCD community, so desperately wants for those enslaved to experience freedom, which is why I blog about my experiences and provide resources. But in trying to protect my boundaries, in trying to prioritize my own remission, in trying to respect my health by not taking on crisis-level anxiety that I cannot manage, I know that I sacrifice that personal touch that a therapist or other mental health professional could offer you.

I’m going to take down my question form.

My answers remain the same:

God bless you all. Thanks for understanding.

xo Jackie