Taking this weekend to do and to plan. I will be elbows-deep in dreams.
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#blog #goals #courage #growth #spiritualgrowth #personalgrowth #REST #comfortzone #buildwithme #buildingmyempire #saltnovel #writingcourage #confidence #fakeittillumakeit

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I am learning so much about myself, my rhythms. It’s so helpful to be able to recognize and even anticipate what is coming. I have 1 day a month I can barely open my eyes, a series of 5 or so days when I feel ugly (but a week later I feel pretty), at home I’m most productive after 9 pm, fresh flowers make me feel instantly better, heat is a bigger trigger for me even than stress, list-making is my sweet spot, missing my meds is non-negotiable.
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Knowing these items gives me a huge advantage over my #chronicillness, #stress, #selfsabotage.
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#blog #spoonielife #spoonie #spoontheory #mentalhealth #mentalillness #productivity #ovulating #menstrualcycle #courage

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The time has come to compile all the random ideas and bitty details of the years into one spot. In addition to this notebook, I also need to glean from my Todoist, my Evernote account, and a handful of Dropbox files and Google Docs.
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I started working on #SaltNovel in 2013.
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It just is what it is. I started Truest in January 2012 and had a book deal in late 2013 (when I started to work on Salt Novel), so each project has its own timeline. (Not to mention life events that help or hinder the process further.) I’m learning to just be okay with it. This book needed a lot of time. I’m grateful for a full time job I also love that allows me to put in all the time this story demands.
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#blog #writer #writing #writinglife #author #slowwriting #details #sixyearscollects

Exhibit A: the closest-to-perfect book IMO (but read Saving Francesca before The Piper’s Son for context), my medication sorter/storage, and my weekly goals peeking through in the back.
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Today has been weird. Yesterday too, a bit. I have a feeling of being directionless, which makes NO SENSE since I’ve had more direction and motivation in recent months than I have in years. Might have to do with hormones. I felt sick and tired (literally) today and stayed home from work to sleep all morning. It makes me feel like I’ve taken ten giant steps backward, but that’s me being dramatic. It’s more like, well, like what it is: like I’ve been growing in leaps and bounds and took a day to pause and rest. That’s not going backward. That’s pacing.
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Right now I’m rereading The Piper’s Son for the one bajillionth time, reading Emotional First Aid by Guy Winch, listening to The Poet X written and narrated by @acevedowrites, and listening to the Baby-Sitters Club Club podcast.
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My basement looks like the scene from the end of ET, all plastic walls and containment. After a summer of outdoor construction woes, it’s hard to now face indoor construction woes. I’m trying so hard to stay chill, but the stress that comes from having strangers in your home is legit, even if they are the kindest strangers.
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At the university where I work, fb players move in tomorrow, followed by other fall athletes on Friday. Next week international students arrive, then all students for general orientation on the 23rd. I love the excitement of the new school year, but I also feel like I am holding both Fall 2019 and Fall 2020 in my hands right now, and it will feel good to welcome Fall 2019 and set them down on campus. 😊 It’s a stressful, emotional time for families, especially moms. I’m trying to be gracious, generous, welcoming, and calm. It really is an amazing school, and we are so lucky to have an incredible new class coming in. .
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In general, I am trying to be fully on and attentive wherever I’m at. Alas, it’s Tuesday and it already caught up to me. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ One day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. This is not going backward. This is just a pause.
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#blog #spoonie

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Wrote the scenes I’d assigned myself to write and am feeling victorious just because they exist.
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I’m thinking about Ann Patchett and how she says our beautiful ideas are like butterflies, and when we write them down, we pin the butterflies to a board. BUT she says an imperfect but written piece is better than perfect and unwritten. One can be shared with others.
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I wish that not everything we touched had to die. Annie Dillard says touch it anyway.
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I fear I’m misrepresenting these incredible women. The bottom line is: write, create, build, even if the finished product can never match the perfection in your head.

I once had the online opportunity to ask Anne Lamott–the beloved author of Bird by Bird (the recognized authoritive text on the writing life)–if, all these years later, she would add anything to the book.

She said, “I still swear bythr same ideas: short assignments, shitty first drafts, and just do it. You get to ask people for help. And read a lot more poetry.”

Short assignments have been key for my “re-entry” into revisions this summer. But I had to think intuitively about what short assignments look like for me right now.

Once upon a time, I might have said, “One chapter at a time,” or even “one paragraph.” But that wasn’t cutting it for me anymore. It felt like saying that building a house begins with the foundation, which is both true and not.

Because there are lots of steps before that, aren’t there? Micro-steps. Before building the foundation, I need to collect the bricks.

Okay, time for this non-builder to exit that metaphor. Ha! But really, for me it meant even dividing baby steps into something smaller.

Step one was to have a list of scenes, whether they were written yet or not. Now put them in a likely order. Now just gather all the things that should be in chapter one into a document called chapter one.

The next step is to make sure the unwritten scenes get written. The rules: shitty first drafts and no worrying about transitions between scenes (yet).

Ten or so weeks of this will give me disjointed scenes but they are on the page and in the right order. Meanwhile I will begin creating a list of my concerns. I’m not even addressing them yet, just recording them.

Transitions will come next. Then time to brainstorm the concerns and pour energy into them. Later still, grafting all that in.

Does this seem obvious to you? If so, I’m glad! You’ve discovered a wise, bite-sized, micro-steps journey to the goal. If this seems foolish to you, I’m glad! You’re not in a writing space that has left you paralyzed with fear and doubt.

But if this seems helpful to you, I’m also glad. Making a syllabus of micro-step assignments has helped me write more in the last couple weeks than I have all year.

P.S. Would it be helpful for me to share my entire 21-week syllabus? Let me know in the comments. Hugs!

When I don’t get enough accomplished in a day, it’s hard for me to go to sleep. My mind and body are unsettled because I felt like I didn’t hit my quota of “meaningful creations and/or experiences” for the day. Since I had a plumber here for SIX HOURS today, I’m feeling it.
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So this post is actually a last-ditch, ten-minutes-to-midnight attempt to add value to the day before I turn into a pumpkin. It actually was a great day. Know why?
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Firstly, because my house is falling apart but *I* didn’t. This stuff would normally collapse me, but I took it in stride, knowing these repairs are expensive and frustrating but necessary. And praising God for insurance.
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And my CPAP. And Prozac. And Effexor. And my therapist. My coworkers. My parents. My besties. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have such a vast, expansive support system.
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The family I met with on campus this morning had read my book. ❤️ Mom said to daughter, “Did you realize this is who wrote Truest?” Daughter said, “Yes! It’s my favorite book.” Like… What?? I had such a rockstar moment. Thank you, Evelyn. I should have told her there’s an Evelyn in Salt Novel. I will email her in the morning.
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The world is in so much pain. It feels so privileged for me to say I need a break from it. I am trying to take it in sips. As an outgoing introvert, you will see me entertaining at the party, then hiding, repeat. I’m sort of doing the same thing with the incredibly painful news right now. Make a round, then hide, repeat. I wish everyone was able to hide for a moment.
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Well, it’s midnight. I’m a pumpkin. My thoughts are a glass slipper; please be gentle.
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#blog #spoonielife #spoonie #spoontheory #writing #writinglife #writer #author #novelist #truest #YA #yafiction #yalit #vaguecinderellareferences #theworldissobrokenicannotbearit

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I am not as #productive as I once was, so I am making efforts to be exceptionally #intentional.
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#blog #checkin #selfevaluation #checkinwithself #intentionality #intentionalgrowth #cultivatewhatmatters #growbabygrow #enneagram4 #enneagram4w3 #infj #spoonie #spoonielife #spoontheory #chronicillness #seasonofgrowth #radicalacceptance #radicalselfacceptance

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