Summer 2019 has been a crash-course in Life. Here’s some of what I’m learning:
I can be my own mentor.
I read the book The Hero is You by Kendra Levin, which tackles the writer life through the lens of the Hero’s Journey. While I do have writing mentors and coaches in my life, this book encouraged me to be my own mentor. So I created a syllabus for a 21-week “course” that takes my current draft to the next draft by Christmas. I gave myself reading assignments and very short assignments (thanks, Anne Lamott!). So far, so good! I have spent more time in this last week working on my manuscript than I have in the last year, no joke.
Courage over comfort.
I purchased a card deck of prompts that push you out of your comfort zone. The idea is to push your boundaries and become more comfortable with being uncomfortable. I just started this– one thing a week– but it’s been interesting so far. I have made plans to visit a landmark an hour away (this will double as writing research!), asked friends to name my strengths, and today I sent five celebrities messages on Twitter. Of course, my celebrities are all people in the book world. One tweeted me back already!
Saying no to shame.
It’s been easier than I thought. I made an actual, conscious decision to quit using shaming language with myself, choose courage and confidence, practice radical acceptance, and– when needed– fake it till I make it. It has been SO FREEING. I don’t do this perfectly, obviously, but wow, has it revealed how much time and emotional energy I spent on shredding myself. Instead, I’ve been following people on Instagram like @huntermcgrady and @drjoshuawolrich.
Grieving a past identity.
I’m in the middle of this one, even after nearly two years of working on my health and energy levels. I’m taking a free online course about Navigating Grief with Humor, and it’s been fascinating and sad and good. In learning about William Worden’s four “tasks” of grief, the one that hit home the most was the fourth: “Help one find a way to maintain a bond with the deceased while reinvesting in one’s own life.” So, for me, my question is how can I honor my former self while also moving forward with my new self? I’m going to try writing a letter to 2012-2013 Jackie, who was at the peak of productivity.
The next right thing.
It helped to read The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman, who also talked about making life decisions in the wake of life changes. I listened to the book on audio, answering Freeman’s questions aloud. Have you taken on a new role at work? “Yes.” Have an injury or illness reduced your abilities or energy? “Yes!” Have you had construction or work in your life that has brought strangers into your home? “YES!” It was good to realize that this summer has actually been intense and full of change AND that I’ve experienced growth in spite of it all.
Interviewing the Shadow.
This was another exercise from The Hero is You. The Shadow represents big, world-shaking people or events that, in this context, stop us from writing. I’m not talking about mere distractions here– lack of focus, household chores. The Shadow is big. It puts everything on hold. It makes us question our identity. The book had me identify my Shadow and then interview it– “What was Jackie’s life like before you came into it? Why did you want to keep Jackie from writing?”– and guess what? I found out that my Shadow was not even anti-Jackie or anti-writing. My Shadow was just anxious and stressed and sad and unsure. In the midst of my own crisis, I could not look beyond myself. But when I finally sat down opposite the Shadow, there was so much insecurity in the Shadow itself that I felt like I was able to feel empathy instead of fear.
Enneagram & Goals
So, the first half of the year, my goals were as such: healthy body, healthy heart, writing & wonder, finances, and investing in others. As I’ve been learning more and more about the Enneagram and my type (I’m a 4!), I switched them around a little bit. Since 4s are motivated by meaning and significance, I made a subtle adjustment. Three main goals– meaningful creativity, meaningful relationships, meaningful growth– and two sub-goals that support them– finances for meaning, health for meaning. It’s a small shift on paper, but a big one in my head.
The Emotional Craft of Fiction by Donald Maass | Oh man. This is changing my life, guys. Hands down, it’s the best craft book I’ve ever read on fiction. A week ago, in an email to my editor, I described myself as having “a novelist’s heart but a poet’s education.” (Don’t get me wrong– I adored my education! But I focused on poetry, not on fiction, so in some ways, I am learning as I go.) This book is helping. A ton. (I also recommend The Anatomy of Story by John Truby.)
Gap Life by John Coy | I was lucky enough to share a stage with John Coy earlier this year, and the man is just so wise and well-spoken and lovely. In the green room, he selflessly doled out advice to this newby from the perspective of a man with something like sixteen published books to his name. Gap Life was an interesting read about Cray, a boy finished with high school but not yet ready for college, who is figuring out how to navigate his own pursuits versus the dreams his father has for him while working at a home for adults with development disabilities and while falling head over heels for a girl unlike any he’s ever met before.
The Whisper by Pamela Zagarenski | Man. This book. It’s a children’s book with the most incredible illustrations (Zagarenski is a two-time Caldecott winner!) and the … plot … I guess … is also so lovely. A girl borrows a book from her teacher, but the words spill out on the way home, so she has to come up with the stories. This book is a must have for every creative child, itty-bitty through age 100.
Incarnadine by Mary Szybist | This collection of poetry as hailed as a best book of the year by NPR, Slate, Oregonian, Kansas City Star, Willamette Week, and Publishers Weekly. It was full of poems whose forms pushed the envelope, all while having the utmost care put into every line. There was a theme of annunciation running throughout the book, and I found it stunning.
Literary Sexts: A Collection of Short & Sexy Love Poems edited by Amanda Oaks and Caitlin Siehl | Don’t be flabbergasted by the title; this was a fun and interesting collection of short love poems written in the form of texts and meant to read like one long texting conversation between lovers. Some were, of course, far better than others. Some were outstanding. Many were average. For the outstanding ones, though, I say this was worth it.
Spare by Georgia Lundeen | I will post about this what I shared on Instagram: “OMGOSH, I have been waiting for this for YEARS.
I’ve also been re-reading the Narnia books (this is an ongoing thing, for any of you who are new to the blog and didn’t know) and The Piper’s Son by Melina Marchetta, which is just about as close to perfect as I think a novel can come. I’ve talked about Marchetta pretty extensively on the blog (
Hi folks! I’m typing on my laptop keyboard, something I haven’t done in a while, since I use an ergo keyboard at home and at work. Unfortunately, my home office desk chair is broken, and while I thought I could make due with another chair, it’s murder on my back. So instead I’m sitting on my couch with my laptop, how and where I wrote Truest.
JACKIE LEA SOMMERS 