Tag Archives: ocd treatment

Thoughts on Freedom of Various Kinds

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I moved yesterday. All went quite well.

I first moved into my old apartment in 2008, right as I started to write Lights All Around, my first novel. Those walls have seen so much, including complete and utter breakdowns, my experience with ERP therapy, the writing of Truest, and the writing of first drafts of two other novels. (Whoa– I wrote four novels in seven years? Sheesh. Had not thought of it like that before.)

The new house is still undergoing renovations, and it’s all a big old mess, but it’s my mess that I own, and I love it. I can see its potential so clearly, and I’m so happy.

Moving means packing and unpacking, and that means finding a million lost things in the dark corners. I’ve found so many things– journals, stories, etc.– that show so clearly the pain of and enslavement to my OCD. Today I read a journal entry dated 2006 that said something to the effect of, “I am still the pot who asks the Potter, ‘Why did you make me this way?’ I wonder if I will ever know. I wonder if I will ever experience freedom.”

I want to tell that girl, Two more years. Hold on.

Of course, that’s my past. I know so much more now, nine years after that journal entry was written. I have joy and freedom and a book deal with HarperCollins. I did the hard work of ERP therapy and reaped all the benefits of it– a whole different life. So, I don’t need to say that to my past self; instead, I will say it to you, you who are enslaved to your own obsessive-compulsive thoughts, who are lost and in slavery to OCD, who wonder if there is a point to it all or if you will ever see the light again:

Hold on. There is freedom available. Hope. Joy. Light. You can learn about ERP therapy here. I pray it will be the key that unlocks your prison, just as it unlocked mine in 2008. Today I find purpose in my past of OCD; I find happiness in daily life; I find freedom– or freedom has found me. Thank you, God.

How fitting to be reminded of my freedom on Memorial Day weekend. I am grateful, so grateful, for every freedom. I remember.

Self-Directed ERP Therapy

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???????????????????????????????????????If you’ve spent any time hanging around this blog, you know that I’m a huge proponent of treating OCD with Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, which is the best treatment available. It’s the first and only* treatment I recommend.

People often balk at it, which I understand: it’s difficult. Very difficult. People want an easier option. But I wouldn’t recommend a bandaid for a cancerous tumor, and I won’t suggest anything else.

But I’m too embarrassed …

But I can’t afford it …

But there are no ERP specialists in my area …

Those are all very valid reasons for seeking another treatment option, but the GOOD NEWS is that you can do ERP on your own, if you are committed to it, and if you’re willing to work hard.

It’s still important to have an expert guiding you, so please track down one of the following books:

Stop Obsessing by Edna Foa
Amazon | B&N | Fishpond
Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson
Amazon | B&N | Fishpond
The OCD Workbook by Bruce Hyman and Cherlene Pedrick
Amazon | B&N | Fishpond
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders: A Complete Guide to Getting Well and Staying Well by Fred Penzel
Amazon | B&N | Fishpond

With the help of one of these books, you can be starting your own ERP journey for under $50 (most under $20!).

Read the whole book from cover to cover and do all the exercises. Throw yourself wholeheartedly into pursuing wellness, freedom, and peace. You can have your life back. Believe me. I languished in the hell of OCD for 20 years before just 12 weeks of ERP therapy broke that torturous yoke. This can be your story too.

If you’re not convinced, go to jackieleasommers.com/OCD and read my posts about ERP. Then drop me a comment or an email with your questions!

* I think medication can definitely help too– but ERP is a better option than meds, and in my (non-MD) opinion, meds should come alongside ERP, not ever replace it.

Sweet Freedom

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freedom in redAlison Dotson, president of OCD Twin Cities, and I were emailing recently about how sometimes we feel as if we say the same thing post after post, article after article, especially since they usually involve our own stories with OCD, and history doesn’t change.

But I reminded her that even if we’ve heard our stories over and over, someone else might be hearing it for the first time. Not to mention that sometimes those of us with OCD need to hear the truth multiple times before it is finally able to sink into our heads and hearts.

So here it is again:

I was in bondage to obsessive-compulsive disorder for twenty hellish years. I was plagued by ugly, intrusive thoughts that caused me intense anxiety and even terror. Many days I felt completely out of control of my own thoughts, and I hated the ugliness that polluted my mind. I was sad, lonely, depressed, lost, engaged in an ongoing war where the battlefield was my own brain.

And then an amazing psychiatrist named Dr. Suck Won Kim gave me not only a prescription but also the phone number to a cognitive-behavioral therapist in the area, along with the warning that ERP therapy “will be hell” and the encouragement that I had to do it anyway.

And I did. For twelve grueling weeks, I practiced the exposure therapy assignments set out by Dr. Christopher Donahue, and after twelve weeks of hell … I was free. Free for the first time since I was seven years old. I could barely even remember what freedom felt like, what it felt like to be master of my own thoughts, to rule over my OCD instead of having it rule me, and so it was actually a little scary at first.

But let me tell you: you get used to freedom, joy, and light pretty darn fast.

The last five years have been magnificent.

Please, please ask me questions if you have them.

For (lots!) more about OCD and ERP, go to jackieleasommers.com/OCD

Image credit: Jesus Solana

Choosing Treatment: a Parable

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bandaidOnce there was a man named Mr. Jones.  Mr. Jones found out he had a brain tumor.

Experts told him, “Mr. Jones, you need to have surgery, followed by chemotherapy.”

But Mr. Jones said, “No thank you.  Surgery is hard.  Chemo is hard.  I’d prefer to just meet with someone to discuss my cancer once a week.  Also, I’ll apply a fresh bandaid to my forehead every few days, for good measure.”

“That won’t help, Mr. Jones,” the experts told him.  “You really do need a very specific treatment for your condition.”

But Mr. Jones was insistent: he preferred the easier “treatment.”

So he met with a therapist to discuss his cancer, and he applied and reapplied bandaids whenever he was feeling worried.

It didn’t work.

And the moral of the story is this: ERP is the best way to treat OCD.

 

For (lots!) more about OCD and ERP, go to jackieleasommers.com/OCD.

Image credit: F2 Images

I Confess

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confessI don’t want to admit this to you.  I really don’t.

But I’ve made such efforts to be honest with my blogging community, and the wonderful, encouraging reception I’ve always gotten from you, my beloved readers, has continually encouraged me to continue with that honesty and integrity.

So today I’m going to tell you something that might make you made at me.  Here it is:

Sometimes I get really frustrated with people with OCD. 

Five years of freedom and already I am so quick to frustration.  Shame on me, right?  Then again, the last five years of my life (post-ERP) have been so absolutely incredible that they make me even more frustrated with those who avoid treatment.

The truth of the matter is this: exposure and response prevention is the best and most appropriate treatment for OCD.  Quite simply, if you’re looking for a “solution” to your OCD, then I have it for you: ERP.  I hear from a lot of people who seem to want a different answer, and yet my bottom line remains the same: ERP, ERP, ERP.

I know it’s scary.  (Trust me, I know it’s scary!)  But it’s the right answer, and I’m not going to send you on a wild goose chase when I know the right answer.  That would be like me telling you to go get chemotherapy for your gunshot wound or that you need insulin for your broken arm.  It’s obvious that those aren’t the correct treatment for the issue, and I won’t do that to you.

Research shows that ERP is the best treatment for OCD.  My life shows that a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder can redeem the years he or she lost to being enslaved by OCD.  No matter how many times you ask me, I’m going to give the same answer.

There.  Got it off my chest.  Don’t worry, folks; I’m still here for ya!  I aim to be a voice advocating for our quiet and oppressed community.  But just how I refuse to aid someone in compulsions, I will also refuse to send you down the wrong corridor for help.  I’m doing this with the best interest of our community in mind, I promise.

My heart and energies and motivations rest in leading those in slavery toward freedom.  Know that.

Better than a Bandaid

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“Healing” cancer with a Bandaid is the same as “healing” OCD with compulsions.  In short, you’re not healing ANYTHING.

In other words, all those things that obsessive-compulsives do to alleviate the tremendous anxiety they feel?  Not helpful.  Asking for reassurance, obsessive confessing, reciting prayers and phrases, repeating rituals that make you feel “okay” or “balanced,” washing your hands, etc.– they are just Bandaids plastered right over the cancer of OCD.

To effectively go for the “root” of OCD, you have to resist those compulsions.  Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy is recognized as THE best treatment for OCD.bandaid

Skip the talk therapy.
Skip the (many) reassurances.
Skip the rituals.
Skip the confessions.

Go for the jugular with ERP.

Related posts:
A Detailed Post about ERP
Preparing for ERP Therapy
ERP & Imaginal Exposures

Will Treatment Change Me?

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I recently had coffee with a lovely young college graduate, a writer who has been dealing with intense anxiety, anxiety that has latched onto her faith and forced her into a position of crisis.  We talked about medication and therapy, about how there is nothing to be ashamed of, about how even scripture can be twisted and used against us.

Then she said, “The way my mind goes so quickly?  That’s why I think I can write.  I’m scared that if I start taking medication, I’ll lose that.”

That’s a fear I could definitely relate to!

I told her, “I think just as quickly now as I did before treatment– only now, it’s productive.  Before, my brain was spinning its wheels.  I was thinking in circles, thinking all the time but never really getting anywhere.  Now I can think productively.  I can focus on things that are important.

“I still think deeply– in fact, more deeply in some areas, since I’m no longer terrified of thoughts.”

So, did treatment change me?

Yes, but for the better.

arms

A Metaphor for Obsessive-Compulsives

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A new friend came over to my apartment the other week, and we got to talking about Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, and I shared a metaphor with her that I’d like to share with you now.

We put out fires, but what we need to do is shoot the arsonist.

arson

The problem with attempting to “solve” an OC’s obsession is that, as soon as it’s solved, a new obsession will take its place.  In that way, you’re only putting out fires, not dealing with the root issue, which is an inability to handle uncertainty.  For years and years, I watched my obsessions hop from one thing to the next.  My compulsions– and even my talk therapy sometimes– were shortsightedly stamping out the flames in one corner of my mind while OCD set a new fire in another corner.

How can you possibly manage to keep up that way?  It’s not sustainable.

That’s why I agree with so many of the OCD experts in this country that the best way to fight OCD is with Exposure and Response Prevention therapy.  ERP is so very different from most standard therapies.  In it, obsessive-compulsives are exposed to a trigger that prompts in them deep anxiety; then they are not allowed to respond with an anxiety-easing compulsion.  Instead, they are forced to sit in that discomfort.  Doing this repeatedly actually re-wires the obsessive-compulsive’s brain in a way that they learn to live with uncertainty and their quality of life improves dramatically.

It’s been four years since I turned my attention from the bonfires to the disorder that was setting them.

It’s been a good four years.