I got an email this past weekend from a lovely blog reader who has found victory over obsessive-compulsive disorder through exposure therapy. It’s such a joy any time someone shares a story of freedom, and it does my heart so much good. It reminds me of the reason I preach the benefits of ERP therapy. It reminds me of when I first went into OCD remission back in 2008.
But I also find it important to mention that while the person with OCD has experienced healing, it does not mean that they are cured. In the vast majority of cases, OCD is never cured; it is treated and maintained. What does this mean?
First of all, it’s definitely something to celebrate. I revel in my remission, and in fact, after eight years of this freedom, sometimes I even find myself taking it for granted. It’s a victory to come out of exposure therapy with a new tolerance for uncertainty. It’s a joy and a relief and, for me, at least, a whole new life.
But it doesn’t mean that I don’t have OCD.
There are days of intense stress where I buckle a bit and find myself having some obsessive thought patterns or even resorting to old compulsions. This disorder is mostly dormant in me … but it is still in me. And it can wake when I am stressed or fearful. Every once in a while, there is something that will trigger my OCD, and it’s like there’s a CLICK in the way my brain works, a little BLIP in the new system.
But, usually …
- I recognize it for what it is. I am able to do this because of ERP.
- I do not beat myself up over it or assume “all is lost.” It’s merely a step back. I don’t have to start the race over.
- I refuse compulsions. (Notably, I allow myself to ask a group of people [usually my coworkers] ONE TIME for what they would deem the appropriate response, and then I DO IT, whatever they say. I know that when my OCD is triggered, I have a hard time understand what is or isn’t a valid response. So I give the decision to others.)
- If it’s particularly bad, I listen to my ERP audio track.
- I go to sleep, as early as I need to. It is–almost without fail–better in the morning.
I don’t mean this to be bad news–not at all; rather, it’s just something to take note of, something to have in the back of your mind for those stressful days, for those moments when your OCD wakes up and starts to whisper in your ear.
Here’s some anecdotal data about my remission and relapses:
- In the first 1.5 years after completing ERP, I didn’t experience obsessions or practice compulsions at all.
- In the years after that, I have had about 1-2 relapse incidents a year.
- Each incident has lasted on average just a couple of hours. One lasted about two days.
This is nothing compared to my life before ERP. This is manageable. This is freedom. This is remission.
This is good news, people.
If you want to learn more about the exposure therapy that got me to this point, you might want to check out the following links:
jackieleasommers.com/OCD: a collection of my posts about all things OCD
jackieleasommers.com/OCD-help: a letter from me to OCD sufferers, along with a list of next steps
jackieleasommers.com/twin-cities-OCD: resources for OCD sufferers living in or around Minneapolis and St. Paul