Monthly Archives: January 2016

Reading Slump

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I’ve been in a reading slump for a week or two now.

Part of it is because I’ve resurrected my old novel and am pounding the pavement to pull together a working first draft to show my editor. Part of it is because I read a few really heavy books in a row, and I think I needed a little time to digest and recover.

I love that literature sometimes requires recovery. Gosh, what power.

I pre-ordered a slew of books I’m especially excited about for this year, though the new Marchetta isn’t available for pre-order yet. Also, I’m literally having dreams about The Raven King. Woof.

I read some pretty outstanding work in 2015, including the 2015 Printz winner, Bone Gap. I maybe needed a little time to step back in appreciation.

This week I’m going to be busting my butt on my Ardor Novel manuscript, and I’m not sure I have the capacity to start reading something new, though I might re-listen to the audio of The Piper’s Son, which has been on my mind lately since it’s what inspired Ardor Novel.

How about you? Reading anything fantastic that I should have on my radar?

Green Lights in Writing

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A green traffic light with a sky blue backgroundI can have the most incredible idea on paper … and then, when I start to try out the scenes, the characters, or whatever, maybe nothing feels right. There’s no excitement, there’s no drive, there’s no flood of creativity.

Because I’m a fan of and not afraid of hard work, I take this pretty seriously. I stop to question whether there’s no green light for a reason.

I’m pretty vocal about my faith, so for me, I often equate this with a supernatural redirection– but even if you’re not religious, you might still believe in ideas like kismet or gut feelings and intuition.

So, what about when you have an amazing idea and no green light? Then what? Do you go with an idea that seems “lesser” but has a green-light excitement and feel to it?

I think so.

I hope so.

With faith.

Now, note that I’m not trying to discourage hard work. I think it would be a horrible idea to give up on a great idea simply because it’s hard. By this green light idea, I’m talking merely about setting aside a great idea because it’s wrong.

Writers, any thoughts on this? How hard do you push an idea that doesn’t “feel” right? Does this green light concept ring a bell with you or am I totally talking nonsense?

Imagination & Skill

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I can imagine a lot. I can imagine a perfect book. (Frankly, it looks a lot like The Piper’s Son by Melina Marchetta.)

But my skills as a writer don’t stretch so far. At least, not yet. I’m still such a novice.

I’m very proud of Truest. I know it’s not perfect, but it’s the very best I could offer at age 33. I’m turning 34 on Sunday. I wonder what my very best will look like this year and next.

My editor “set me loose” for the next week to see what damage I can do to my manuscript of Ardor Novel. I’m thrilled. Terrified. Trying so hard to remember to honor the process: write, feedback, revise, repeat. I’m on step one of a long process. I’m at Go.

Writing is such a fearsome thing.

I love it; I am afraid of it.

Trying to remind myself of the gameplan, which is mostly the voice of Anne Lamott: Bird by bird. Butt in seat, hands on keyboard. Show up. Shitty first drafts.

And my own voice: Choose joy. 

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Two Changes to the Plan(s)

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It’s only January 10th, and already I have to make changes to my goals for this year!

Change #1: complete a final draft of whatever novel I end up going with (which will likely not be Yes Novel).

Change #2: I’m switching the April poetry collection. I cracked open The Captain Asks for a Show of Hands, and it’s just too vulgar. I can’t handle it. So I’m switching it out for Aimless Love by Billy Collins.

Big Magic: Courage, Enchantment, & Suffering

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In the grip of depression, anxiety, and perfectionism last week, I asked for a pep talk on Twitter.

It was really what I needed to read. Seriously.

I listened to the audiobook, and I’m so glad I did because Elizabeth Gilbert’s sweet narration was like being mentored by a big sister in the arts.

big magicThis isn’t really a review, per se, just a few of my thoughts on the book.

“The essential ingredients for creativity remain exactly the same for everybody: courage, enchantment, permission, persistence, and trust.”

This quote really touched me because it really nails some of those ingredients that people don’t seem to realize are so necessary. What do you need to write a book? I bet a lot of people would say talent or time or (cheekily) a pencil. I agree with Liz: courage, enchantment, permission, persistence, and trust. (Though I might swap “trust” out with “faith” to get a little closer to what trust looks like for me.)

“There is a famous question that shows up, it seems, in every single self help book ever written: what would you do if you knew that you could not fail? But I’ve always seen it differently. I think the fiercest question of all is this one: what would you do even if you knew that you might very well fail? What do you love doing so much that the words failure and success essentially become irrelevant? What do you love even more than you love your own ego?”

This is huge to me. I just read an article about the same thing. (It’s right here and well worth the read!) This article said the question to ask is: How do I choose to suffer? Basically, what is worth suffering for?

I like how the writer of the article summarizes a failed dream of his: “I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love not with the fight but only the victory. And life doesn’t work that way.”

I’m learning. Slowly.

Writing, I believe, is worth the suffering. Writing is worth it, even without success. But it takes courage and enchantment and faith.

I want to cultivate those things in myself.

Slowly, slowly …

This Week Has Been Whoa

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So, I’m sitting here debating how much I want to say, and instead, I think I just need to start.

This week has been wild.

WILD.

emotionalrollercoaster

On Sunday, depression surged up and wrapped its ugly hands around my throat. But I don’t mess around anymore. I called in all the reserves: meds, essential oils, tons of water, vitamins, meeting with my therapist, a chiropractic adjustment. By Wednesday, my world wasn’t ending anymore.

Which is interesting because on Tuesday I talked to my editor about Yes Novel, and she said, “Start over.”

Yeah, you read that right. Start over.

But guess what? That conversation made me so happy. I’m serious. Because I wasn’t feeling good about Yes Novel (haven’t been for a while!) and so to hear my editor say that she wasn’t either meant we were on the same page. That’s such a good feeling. I can’t tell you what a relief it is (and how lucky I feel) to have an editor who is more committed to putting out a good book than to staying on schedule.

Because I’m not afraid of working hard. But I’m terrified of mediocrity.

(More thoughts coming soon about my battle against perfectionism.)

So, I started to re-think Yes Novel and what changes I wanted to make if I started to rebuild it from the foundation up. It needs a lot of work, guys. It made me think of the novel I set aside in November 2014 in order to start writing Yes Novel. It’s a manuscript that I’ve re-visited over the last year more than once. I’ve missed the characters. I’ve missed the island where it takes place. It has more things in the right places than Yes Novel does.

In one fifteen-minute drive home, I’d all but convinced myself I wanted to switch projects again. Again. (Remember this?)

I emailed my editor and asked her to take a look at my old manuscript (let’s call it Ardor Novel), and she agreed.

This morning she emailed that she was excited about the manuscript!!

Does that mean I’ve officially switched from Yes Novel to Ardor Novel?

No. But probably.

And I couldn’t be more excited. Stay tuned to learn more about what has happened in the past year behind the scenes to prepare me for returning to this story.

But for now, please leave a kind comment for this pummeled, anxiety-ridden writer who is currently jacked up on bookish adrenaline. I’m exhausted. But I’m almost shaking with excitement. I could use some cheerleaders!

A whole lot of Misc to start 2016

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More MM news!!! Ahhhh!

melina marchetta's avatarMelina Marchetta

Firstly, Happy New Year.

The paperback edition of The Piper’s Son comes out in Australia today. If anyone is interested, during January, I’ll respond to any burning questions you’ve ever had about the novel in the comments section.

TPSON_B format_FCA

Except the Jimmy Hailler question, which I’ll address now.

No, I’m not currently writing a Jimmy Hailler book. But it may seem as if I am.  If you are inclined to read my next novel due out in September  (more of that down below) then the prologue will present you with two Jimmys. Netiher is Jimmy Hailler.

I know. How cruel. Didn’t do it on purpose. Wasn’t thinking. Tried to change their names, but once you name those characters, it’s really hard to change much about them.

In saying the above, a Jimmy Hailler novel does exist in my head and has for a while. It’s a four-hander and he’s one of…

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Perfectionism Digs a Deep Hole

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Exhibit A.

doubt

Exhibit B.

mm no

Exhibit C.

ideas

Exhibit D.

brene

Exhibit E.

Runner crossing finish line

Achiever. That’s honestly my #2 strength after Learner via StrengthsFinder. But so often it doesn’t feel like a strength; it feels crippling.

Perfectionism is something I’ve battled my whole life. I didn’t just want an A on the test, I wanted the highest score in the class. I might get 100% but if someone else also got an extra credit point, I’d feel like I didn’t perform well.

Performer. My freedom from OCD has given me so much freedom in this area too. I’m learning that my worth isn’t based on my performance.

But it’s still a lie I all too often believe.

I’m a writer. But I can never measure up to my own standards for myself, and so I walk around defeated even when I’m living my dream.

I don’t have answers to this. I just needed to share. Thanks for listening.

All I Want For Christmas

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A little late for 2015 Christmas … but it will be early for 2016 Christmas. I can wait till September.

“Popular young-adult author Melina Marchetta​ returns with a crime novel for adults in September (Shaming the Devil, Penguin Random House).”

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/books/books-for-the-year-the-treats-in-store-from-australia-and-overseas-in-2016-20151224-glu19y.html#ixzz3wEaLQh00
Follow us: @smh on Twitter | sydneymorningherald on Facebook

Jackie Lea Sommers's avatarJACKIE LEA SOMMERS

Is something new by Melina Marchetta.

struggle

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