So, I’m sitting here debating how much I want to say, and instead, I think I just need to start.
This week has been wild.
On Sunday, depression surged up and wrapped its ugly hands around my throat. But I don’t mess around anymore. I called in all the reserves: meds, essential oils, tons of water, vitamins, meeting with my therapist, a chiropractic adjustment. By Wednesday, my world wasn’t ending anymore.
Which is interesting because on Tuesday I talked to my editor about Yes Novel, and she said, “Start over.”
Yeah, you read that right. Start over.
But guess what? That conversation made me so happy. I’m serious. Because I wasn’t feeling good about Yes Novel (haven’t been for a while!) and so to hear my editor say that she wasn’t either meant we were on the same page. That’s such a good feeling. I can’t tell you what a relief it is (and how lucky I feel) to have an editor who is more committed to putting out a good book than to staying on schedule.
Because I’m not afraid of working hard. But I’m terrified of mediocrity.
(More thoughts coming soon about my battle against perfectionism.)
So, I started to re-think Yes Novel and what changes I wanted to make if I started to rebuild it from the foundation up. It needs a lot of work, guys. It made me think of the novel I set aside in November 2014 in order to start writing Yes Novel. It’s a manuscript that I’ve re-visited over the last year more than once. I’ve missed the characters. I’ve missed the island where it takes place. It has more things in the right places than Yes Novel does.
In one fifteen-minute drive home, I’d all but convinced myself I wanted to switch projects again. Again. (Remember this?)
I emailed my editor and asked her to take a look at my old manuscript (let’s call it Ardor Novel), and she agreed.
This morning she emailed that she was excited about the manuscript!!
Does that mean I’ve officially switched from Yes Novel to Ardor Novel?
No. But probably.
And I couldn’t be more excited. Stay tuned to learn more about what has happened in the past year behind the scenes to prepare me for returning to this story.
But for now, please leave a kind comment for this pummeled, anxiety-ridden writer who is currently jacked up on bookish adrenaline. I’m exhausted. But I’m almost shaking with excitement. I could use some cheerleaders!