Monthly Archives: August 2013

My Favorite Verses

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Random 5 Friday is a weekly meme over at A Rural Journal.

Today I’d like to share with you my favorite Scripture verses!

1. “And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” (John 17:3, ESV)
I love how well this defines eternal life: knowing Christ is the ultimate reward!

2.”For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1, ESV)
This verse reminds me of just how much freedom and joy Christ has won for me.

3. “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.” (Psalm 94:19, NASB)
Love this verse as someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder!

4. “And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12 Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.” (1 John 5:11-12, NIV)
Spelling it out.

5. Psalm 88, MSG
These verses put my deepest heart sorrows into words.  Even though the psalm is a devastating one, it was good to find myself in the pages of the Word.  I’m glad I don’t feel this same pain anymore!
psalm88

 

Jackie’s Favorite C.S. Lewis Books

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cs lewis1. The Chronicles of Narnia are hands down my favorite of Jack Lewis’s books and so take the #1 spot.  Were I pressed to delineate the order in which I rank them, I would say this: The Last Battle; The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Horse and His Boy; The Magician’s Nephew; The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; Prince Caspian; The Silver Chair.  I think.  I love them all though and usually listen to a Narnia audiobook to fall asleep each night.  In this way, I read the whole series perhaps a dozen times a year.  That’s a lot of Narnia– just the way I like it.

2. The space trilogy: Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, and That Hideous Strength.  Theological science fiction?  Heck yes!  And each book is better than the last.

3. The Great Divorce.  One crazy bus ride through the afterlife.

4. Till We Have Faces.

5. A Grief Observed.  Written after his wife died.  I read this in one evening.

6. Mere Christianity.

7. The Problem of Pain.  How can God be all-good and all-powerful if there is still pain in the world?

8. Letters to Children.  A collection of Lewis’s letters written mostly to kiddos.  LOVE.

Notably absent:
The Screwtape Letters.  While this book of advice from one demon to his nephew is an oft-quoted favorite of people, it’s not one of mine.  It’s clever and valuable, and you should definitely read it, but it’s a lot to swim through.  Even Lewis claimed it was “not fun” to write and that he’d never written anything with “less enjoyment.”  He wrote, “Though I had never written anything more easily, I never wrote with less enjoyment . . . though it was easy to twist one’s mind into the diabolical attitude, it was not fun, or not for long. The strain produced a sort of spiritual cramp. The work into which I had to project myself while I spoke through Screwtape was all dust, grit, thirst, and itch.”  He “was resolved never to write another ‘Letter.'”

Surprised by Joy.  This is Lewis’s autobiography, and while it’s been many years since I’ve read it, it certainly wasn’t a favorite of mine.

A to Z Bookish Survey!

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AtoZsurveyI thought this survey, hosted by The Perpetual Page-Turner, looked right up my alley … and yours!

Author you’ve read the most books from:

C.S. Lewis!  (Unless you count the childhood years, in which case, Ann M. Martin wins … I think I owned 150+ Babysitters Club books, ha!)

Best Sequel Ever:

Perelandra by C.S. Lewis or The Piper’s Son by Melina Marchetta

Currently Reading:

UnWholly by Neal Shusterman

Drink of Choice While Reading:

Mmm … hot cocoa.  (Well, in those Minnesota winters, at least!)

E-reader or Physical Book?

Well … I’m mainly an audiobook girl!

Fictional Character You Probably Would Have Actually Dated In High School:

I would have wanted to date Augustus Waters.  Or Jonah Griggs.  Be still, my teenage heart.  (My top 10 literary boyfriends here!)

Glad You Gave This Book A Chance:

City of Bones by Cassie Clare.  This is soooooooo not my normal kind of book, but I ended up really enjoying The Mortal Instruments series!

Hidden Gem Book:

The Last Unicorn by Peter Beagle.  I try my hardest to recruit people to read it!

Important Moment in your Reading Life:

I can think of a couple: 1) Reading Where the Red Fern Grows, the first book to make me cry; 2) Staying up late to finish the Harry Potter series; 3) Reading The Book Thief in pajamas till 5pm one Saturday.

Just Finished:

The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan

Kinds of Books You Won’t Read:

Here is a list of books topics that turn me off!

Longest Book You’ve Read:

Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix.  870 pages of teenage angst.

Major book hangover because of:

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.  I take personal offense if people don’t like this book.

Number of Bookcases You Own:

Three.  A “favorites” shelf, a jam-packed fiction and literary writing shelf, and another full non-fiction shelf.

One Book You Have Read Multiple Times:

Well, I just read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe five times in the last month.  Narnia addict.

Preferred Place To Read:

I love listening to audiobooks on long car rides!  Otherwise, I want to be in bed!

Quote that inspires you/gives you all the feels from a book you’ve read:

quotequote2

Reading Regret:

I regret giving into the pressure to read Twilight.

Series You Started And Need To Finish(all books are out in series):

The Unwind dystology by Neal Shusterman!  (Actually, I’m not sure the third book is out yet …)

Three of your All-Time Favorite Books:

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis (I know that’s cheating, and I don’t care); The Book Thief by Markus Zusak; Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta

Unapologetic Fangirl For:

Narnia!!! Harry Potter!!!

Yep, we played this before one of the midnight showings ... our blindfold was a Gryffindor scarf.

Yep, we played this before one of the midnight showings … our blindfold was a Gryffindor scarf.

Very Excited For This Release More Than All The Others:

Into the Still Blue by Veronica Rossi

Worst Bookish Habit:

Not using the library enough.  Using my credit card too much.

X Marks The Spot: Start at the top left of your shelf and pick the 27th book:

To Own a Dragon by Donald Miller and John MacMurray Jr.

Your latest book purchase:

The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider (preordered: it is released later this month!)

ZZZ-snatcher book (last book that kept you up WAY late):

The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay, which I rather enjoyed.

List-Making as a Compulsion

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lists2A compulsion I haven’t talked about very often on this blog was list-making.  Since it was never something I worked on in CBT/ERP, sometimes I forget about all the lists.

Mine would be numbered (though the numbers didn’t mean much), and they were an attempt to bring some sort of order back into my messy thoughts.  They were an attempt to nail down a position or a stance or anything I could stand on.

This was mostly in high school and in college, before I was even diagnosed with OCD.  All I knew was that my doubts were eating away at me.

For example, in college, I didn’t know if I liked one boy (who liked me back) or his roommate (whom I fought with).  I was in turmoil over this (since OCD can’t just play it by ear– let alone see that I didn’t like the roommate, who annoyed me), so I’d go down by the lake with a notebook and start making a list:

1) I think I like James, not Toby.
2) I don’t want to like Toby.
3) I can decide that, right?
4) Maybe I can’t.
5) But I should be able to– right?  That’s my decision, isn’t it?
6) James is so kind.  And cute.
7) Toby pisses me off.
8) I would break James’s heart if I liked Toby.
9) I don’t want to like Toby.
10) Then why do I think I do?
11) I don’t want to hurt James.
12) If I don’t want to hurt James, then I must really care for him.
13) Do I care about hurting Toby?
14) Not as much.
15) I must like James then.

Satisfied that I was now certain I liked James, I’d stash my notebook back into my backpack and head to class with a smile.

Except that the next time I saw Toby and James, I’d be confused again.  Time for another list.

List-making was a mix of confession and seeking reassurance, to and from myself.

Did/does anyone make lists as a compulsion?

Landing on a Dime

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Recently, I was over at my friend Kristin’s Minnesota house (she spends most of the year at her Kenya house), discussing writing and Christian art.

Kristin is lovely and brilliant and so terribly wise– and she gets me, gets my heart.  She knows how the desperate cry of my heart is to honor God in my writing through creating a book that is excellent and thought-provoking while avoiding mawkish sentimentality and all cliches, Christian or otherwise.

It’s so hard.

dime“I feel like I’m parachuting,” I told her, “and trying to land on a spot the size of dime.”

That is how precise my goal seems.  I want my stories to be just offensive enough to disturb someone’s thoughts– but not so offensive that they’ll put down the book.  I want them to be full of mystery– but with enough clues to find the answer.  I want them to reflect the trials, confusions, and joys of my deepest heart– but in a way that no one will find cheesy or trite.

Again: the size of a dime.

I’m not sure that I am a good enough writer to hit such a bullseye (in fact I feel quite confident that I am not).  So, what then?  Do I stop writing?

Of course not.  Not when that’s the goal of my life and the best worship I can offer.

I tell myself, You’re 31.  Keep writing and you’ll be better at 32 … 33 … 34.  But I am a perfectionist, an achiever, a go-getter, and terribly impatient.  I get frustrated with myself (see here, here, here, here, here, and here) and get so down and low, or else frantic and scared.  But the best I can do is to keep writing, continue praying, practice grace, revel in creation, and gauge my faithfulness.

And my faithfulness looks like persistence, like fidelity to Christ, to his gifts, and to showing up.