Isn’t life as an obsessive-compulsive like riding a roller-coaster? At least for myself, I found that I had really HIGH highs and really LOW lows.
I’ve just always been someone who really, really delights in the good moments, and when the bad times come, boy, do they ever hit hard! And yet, I have never wanted to NOT celebrate those high points. Some people have said that it would be better just to be stable, and I can see that, but MAN, I wanna feel JOY down to my toes when it’s there for the taking!
I think part of it is OCD and part of it is being a writer. If you’re an artist, I bet you know what I mean!
About five days ago I posted that I had been moping in the depths of despair, worrying that I would always be a mediocre writer and wanting SO desperately to be great. I put my project on hold indefinitely and spent the next five days creating new characters in my head, getting more and more excited about them as time went on.
Only five days after my horrendous sadness, having come face-to-face with my failures, THIS was my prayer last night:
Tonight is one of those nights where I am just THRILLED to be a writer. How incredible that I get to PLAY around this way with absolutely no constraints but the ones I put on myself?! I can name a character whatever I choose and make him/her act as I want and do as I please and have whatever history or hang-ups I can imagine. And it’s up to me to invent feelings and family and conversations. It’s so much power– and it’s given to writers.
I am blown away. I am SO grateful to You, Lord, for making me as I am! I pray EARNESTLY that my writing has a purpose and a message of hope and grace. YOU. I want to share You with the world through my writing.
Here we go, back on up … !