When I was a child, I thought, “If I could just know that I loved God, I would be totally and completely happy.”
When I was in high school, I thought, “If I could just know that God was real, I would love life.”
When I was in college, I thought, “If I could just know I was going to heaven, I’d be the most joyful girl in existence.”
Then, “If only I could write a good book.”
“If only I could get an agent.”
“If only I could get a book deal.”
Yet, here I am, I love the God I know is real, the God who has saved me. I’ve written a book that an agent and an editor love enough to publish. And I think, “If only I could write another good book.”
I don’t want anxiety. I want to be happy, to feel peace. Is it human nature to always want the next thing, whatever it may be? Don’t get me wrong. I am happy, joyful even– but still not anxiety-free.