A Portrait of Uncertainty, Before & After

SONY DSCUncertainty, Before ERP: intolerable agony. Even a sliver of uncertainty would collapse my entire self. It was torture, hell on earth. I didn’t think I could stand it for one more minute. And, in fact, because of that intense pressing need to erase the uncertainty, I’d usually do something to alleviate the ugly anxiety … but compulsions prevent you from realizing that you can live one more minute. And then another. And as the minutes stack up, you start to get used to the cold water. In fact, it stops feeling icy.

Uncertainty After ERP: uncomfortable still, but necessary. These days uncertainty feels like a built-in, expected part of life. It’s no one’s favorite thing to experience, but I experience it much the same way as the general population. It’s not an emergency; it’s just an inconvenience. And because I learned that I could survive– and even thrive– by embracing uncertainty, I actually love it more than most people.

Uncertainty isn’t the enemy. ERP can set you free.
Go to www.jackieleasommers.com/OCD-help for more details.

 

Image credit: Mark Turnauckas

An Uncertain Framework

I used to get thrown by anything I couldn’t know FOR SURE.

Is real life real life, or am I just dreaming?

Am I going to heaven?

Are my friends really my friends?

What do people really think of me?

Are people even really people?

I mean, completely thrown.  I had no framework for dealing with uncertainty.  And the truth is that a person just cannot live that way.  It’s not how life works.

Now that ERP has re-wired my mind, I am finally able to say, “I’m just going to have to accept that I can’t know” and carry on with life.  I never thought I’d be able to approach such huge things with that kind of statement.  Never. If you’re reading this and think that that is an impossibility for you, please know that I once thought the same.

uncertain

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Narnia and Uncertainty
Uncertainty is the Key
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Interview with a Former HOCD Sufferer
No Antidote
Life is Risky Business