So many of my friends have met the love of their life via online dating. (Shout-out to the bestie, who just got engaged!) I’d sort of watched from the sidelines, vicariously learning their lessons (always meet sooner than later, rule #1), and I even tried my hand at it for a bit (I think I had one date in that entire trial). So I really wasn’t prepared for 2017, when suddenly there was this influx of interest in my online profiles.
One weekend I heard from 20 or so guys. That was more than I’d heard from in three years prior.
But then the next weekend I heard from 85. The next weekend, over a hundred.
I quit counting eventually, but I would guess I heard from about 2500 men in the last year, which absolutely boggles my mind.
Oh, and I’m still single. So there’s that.
I have stories to tell and some of them are WILD, so buckle up, peeps!
To give you a small taste, here’s a list of 10 people I never expected to match with online:
- The BDSM Dom, ten years my junior, who called me “little one”
- The guy who teased me in high school, who now wanted to sleep with me (Vindication– he didn’t even recognize me at first! And also: NO!)
- My childhood friend’s little brother (awkwaaaaaard)
- The former student I had once recruited to my university
- The man I thought was single whose wife messaged me on Facebook
- A young man in Kashmir with whom I’ve developed a close friendship
- “Mike from Fargo” who ended up being a Nigerian scam artist
- A man who, upon rejection, called me “ugly bitch hoe,” and then tried to win me over on another site later that week, as if the earlier conversation had never happened
- The man who did impressions of Cookie Monster, Johnny Carson, and Rodney Dangerfield
- The man who had a money-making opportunity that sounded vaguely illegal, whom I strung along until he chose a code name for himself. I asked him to call me Peach. His codename? Brandon.
More to come. So much more to come. 🙂
Let me know: which of these makes you most curious?
JACKIE LEA SOMMERS 