Online Dating Chronicles: 10 Matches I Never (Ever) Expected

burning armchair in the grunge interior. 3D illustration creative conceptSo many of my friends have met the love of their life via online dating. (Shout-out to the bestie, who just got engaged!) I’d sort of watched from the sidelines, vicariously learning their lessons (always meet sooner than later, rule #1), and I even tried my hand at it for a bit (I think I had one date in that entire trial). So I really wasn’t prepared for 2017, when suddenly there was this influx of interest in my online profiles.

One weekend I heard from 20 or so guys. That was more than I’d heard from in three years prior.

But then the next weekend I heard from 85. The next weekend, over a hundred.

I quit counting eventually, but I would guess I heard from about 2500 men in the last year, which absolutely boggles my mind.

Oh, and I’m still single. So there’s that.

I have stories to tell and some of them are WILD, so buckle up, peeps!

To give you a small taste, here’s a list of 10 people I never expected to match with online:

  1. The BDSM Dom, ten years my junior, who called me “little one”
  2. The guy who teased me in high school, who now wanted to sleep with me (Vindication– he didn’t even recognize me at first! And also: NO!)
  3. My childhood friend’s little brother (awkwaaaaaard)
  4. The former student I had once recruited to my university
  5.  The man I thought was single whose wife messaged me on Facebook
  6. A young man in Kashmir with whom I’ve developed a close friendship
  7. “Mike from Fargo” who ended up being a Nigerian scam artist
  8. A man who, upon rejection, called me “ugly bitch hoe,” and then tried to win me over on another site later that week, as if the earlier conversation had never happened
  9. The man who did impressions of Cookie Monster, Johnny Carson, and Rodney Dangerfield
  10. The man who had a money-making opportunity that sounded vaguely illegal, whom I strung along until he chose a code name for himself. I asked him to call me Peach. His codename? Brandon. 

More to come. So much more to come. 🙂

Let me know: which of these makes you most curious?



7 thoughts on “Online Dating Chronicles: 10 Matches I Never (Ever) Expected

  1. #8 seems like the most common (also UGHHHHH) and I think #6 is the most intriguing to me. I’m so here for all of this – especially as a fellow online dating warrior. Can’t wait to hear ALL YOUR THOUGHTS.

  2. I’m most intrigued by 5 and 7. I’m encouraged for you that you’ve received such a high number of interested guys. My prayers go out to you for finding the right one. Speaking of guys, I’ve apparently had over 5,000 men interested in me on Tinder, but I don’t know if I’ll return to online dating or pursue Bible studies and groups again. Godspeed Jackie!

  3. Which to choose? There’s a story in every one of these descriptions! Isn’t it true that no matter how difficult a situation, a writer always has the consolation of using it in her writing? (Seriously, though, be careful of the scams. Be very, very careful!) BTW, have you tried They aren’t dating groups, per se, but a nice way to connect with people sharing your interests–which could lead to dating.

  4. Pingback: Online Dating Chronicles: the Man who Never Was | JACKIE LEA SOMMERS

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