Night Driving Synchroblog: Stories of Faith in the Dark

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zierman

So here is my truth.

It was 2003, and I could not differentiate between the darkness outside of me and darkness inside.

It was 2004, and the line between the light of reality and the darkness of paranoia was so blurry that I lived in the fearful purgatory between them.

It was 2006, and the medication that was meant to alleviate the darkness backfired and forced me into a civil war against my own body that persists to this day.

The pain and loneliness and shame were whittling my desires into something sharp and precise: Christ is all that I want.

And in 2008, when the lights came back on after 20 long years, I was able to look around and see: I was in the palm of his hand the entire time. I just didn’t know.

To learn more about God’s victory over my OCD, go to jackieleasommers.com/OCD.

Linking up with Addie Zierman today to celebrate the release of her new book, Night Driving.

Review: Night Driving by Addie Zierman

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Addie Zierman, author of When We Were On Fire (review), has done it again: written a book so packed with beautiful writing and lovely and/or heartbreaking truths that she continues to be a thought leader in the evangelical world.

night drivingNight Driving: A Story of Faith in the Dark tells the story of Addie’s Epic Winter Road Trip, trying to escape the darkness of Minnesota winter and find God in the light. The narrative is fascinating and thought-provoking, full of depth as she struggles through some of the same ideas that I deal with every time Minnesota gets dark, prompting darkness in me. This book, though technically a “roadtrip story,” felt more like having total access to Addie’s uninhibited thoughts with the trip as a narrative structure, which I found really refreshing.

If I were to begin quoting my favorite lines, I would never stop. Addie is the queen of lyrical prose– yet her writing is so accessible. I found myself climbing into bed early night after night just to carve out time to spend with Addie and her boys on this road trip. There were moments of this book that felt so holy– and moments where she made me laugh outloud. A tremendously enjoyable read from a memoirist and thought leader you don’t want to miss.

Night Driving: A Story of Faith in the Dark officially releases tomorrow (!!!) with Convergent, and you can purchase it from Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Books-a-Million, and IndieBound (support your local bookseller!).

Blather Blather

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Let me be clear: I never vomited for all of junior high, never in high school, never in college. Once in my adult life due to a deathly allergic reaction. So you can imagine how utterly shocking it was to throw up eight times this weekend. I’d forgotten how horrible it is to puke. I can’t decide if it’s worse when you’re a kid (because barfing is about the worst thing that can happen to you when you’re little) or if it’s worse as an adult (because instead of having your mom take care of you and clean it up, YOU have to do it).

I’ve been sick. As you can tell.

But not just the story above. I’ve been switching around my medication and trying to land on something that will help me to sleep. It’s been a hassle, and while I think I might have found something that will work (Unisom & Magnesium Glycinate), I had to endure about two weeks of sleepless nights to get to that point.

Plus, I’ve had some issues with depressive symptoms and the like. There were mornings where, quite frankly, it was as if the sun didn’t come up for me. I could do nothing but lie in bed, and some days this was happening until the late-afternoon hours, which made me feel even worse.

I got behind in my writing. In fact, I went for about a week and a half without looking at my manuscript. I just couldn’t drum up the strength or courage.

Do you know what this is like? You can sympathize with me?

I think I’m back on track. I’m caught up on sleep. I got an extension on my draft deadline. I’m practicing self-care. I made a to-do list and am working my way through it. I’m making lots of time for myself, even if I feel selfish doing it. My friends are so flexible and understanding, even when I bail on them again and again because I can’t face life.

Spring is coming. It’s not even just around the corner. It’s actually been HERE the last few days. Minnesota and almost seventy degrees in early March? It’s like someone injecting hope into my veins in the form of Vitamin D. (The projected lows for this week are in the thirties, so I’m bracing myself.)

I feel good about my job. It’s Sunday night, and I’m not even dreading tomorrow because I feel on top of my work and good at what I do. I feel ready to dive into another week of hard, important, meaningful work.

Yesterday, I spent an hour with some lovely young adults at a book club at the St. Cloud Library. It was a joy to talk about reading and writing, and especially in regard to YA, with them. ❤

I’ve revised my word count goals so that I’ll have a finished (albeit messy) draft at the end of the month. Now to just stay on top of that chart. (I’m tempted to do what my friend Alison does, but the possibility that I’ll get off track is just too great and I can’t bear to contribute to the downfall of American/Trump’s campaign.)

I’m down today. BUT I also recognize this as one of my routine low points, one that will likely be gone by tomorrow, so I’m not worried. Just plodding through, getting work done in spite of the feelings. It feels really good to be discerning of my moods in this way. To be able to treat myself kindly and to not stress over it too much.

This post is really blathery. Sorry. Guess I just needed to get some of this out of my system.

 

 

Review: Love & Other Foreign Words by Erin McCahan

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love and other.jpgThis book has been sitting on my TBR shelf for over a year, and after I cruised through Calvin (review), I wanted something a little bit light. This was just right!

Love & Other Foreign Words is about a brilliant (no, literally– she has a genius IQ at age 15), overly-honest girl named Josie as she learns to navigate love in light of her older sister’s impending wedding to a man Josie can’t stand. Josie starts with a younger voice than I usually am drawn to in YA, and in fact, a few pages in, I almost put it down to try something else. But then I got drawn into her voice and the story and actually stayed up to finish it in the same night.

I could absolutely understand the main storyline about Josie feeling like she was losing her sister Kate to a man she (Josie) didn’t like. Note: I LIKE MY FRIENDS’ HUSBANDS, but it’s sort of the story of my life to continually “lose them” to a man and feel jealousy (hey I want my friend back) and envy (hey I want a man too) while watching them fall in love. So I understood that.

I also knew which boy I wanted Josie to end up with, but unfortunately, this guy didn’t have as many scenes as I would have liked!

The time period this book covered was interesting: spring of junior year, summer, and fall of senior year. You could see Josie grow and hear it in her voice too.

A fun, light read that was just what I needed this week.

 

 

Review: Calvin by Martine Leavitt

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calvin.jpgSo.

This book is about a boy named Calvin undergoing a schizophrenic break.

He has always had a connection with the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, being that there are so many similarities between his life and the comic strip (including a toy tiger and a girl next door named Suzie), so when Hobbes starts talking to him again at age seventeen, Calvin decides the only way to make it stop is to take a pilgrimage across Lake Erie to meet Bill Watterson, the creator of the comic strip. If he can make one last strip about a seventeen-year-old Calvin who is “normal,” Calvin will be healed.

And so he heads off.

I loved it. I loved everything about this book: the format (it’s a letter to Bill Watterson and the dialogue is written like a play), the main character (brilliant, brilliant boy; adored Calvin!), the humor, AND the fact that I didn’t know if what I was reading was actually happening in real life or in Calvin’s head. I thought it was so rife with thought-provoking conversation and delightful humor. I read over half of it in one setting and finished it off the next night.

Fans of Calvin and Hobbes will especially love this book, all the references to the comic strip and to Spaceman Spiff, what a great dose of nostalgia. I’m not sure how close it was to describing a real schizophrenic break– it had a tremendously different tone than Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman (review), which I read a few months ago.

It was a total delight, one of my favorite reads of 2016 so far. If you read it, let me know! I wanna hear your thoughts– Goodreads is a little split, and it’s hard for me to understand why!

From Idea to Novel

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Jackie Lea Sommers's avatarJACKIE LEA SOMMERS

Lighting a candleHow does an idea become a novel?

First, you throw away the match. Then you hold the idea in your hands like a flickering flame. You protect it and you breathe life into it: research, conversations, prayer.

You put flesh on it. That is, you create characters. You make them look like real people, broken and complicated, and you make them want things.

Then you look around and see where this idea is happening.  In space? In post-apocalyptic London? In a dollhouse? You open your fist and let your idea and your characters start to run around in this new terrarium. With any luck, they will make very bad decisions.

Then you write about it. Pen and paper, laptop, 1921 Woodstock typewriter, whatever you’ve got. Start putting the words down. They’ll be bad at first, but you’ll fix them later.

After 20 drafts or maybe 220, you take off your beret and…

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2016 Poetry Campaign: It Becomes You by Dobby Gibson

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it becomes youThis was a re-read for me. I first read Dobby Gibson’s It Becomes You about two years ago, and I loved it so much that I immediately bought his other collections (both of which I also enjoyed very much!). He is a brilliant writer, and to top it off, he’s local! It was fun to read poetry about Minneapolis.

How to describe his work? While I read, I had comparisons bouncing around in my brain. Dobby Gibson writes with the tremendous peeling-open-of-ideas and thoughtful phrases of Billy Collins, with the great breadth of vocabulary of Annie Dillard but much more accessible. There are phrases that will make you pause in awe, and every poem will leave you feeling thoughtful, somehow weightless and heavy at once.

Magic.

Highly recommend: also, his other books Skirmish and Polar are fantastic reads too!

Join me next month for my 2016 Poetry Campaign. We’ll be reading Brooklyn Copeland’s Siphon, Harbor. Click here to see the schedule for the rest of the year!

 

The Doors

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No, not these guys.

the doors

These guys:

collage photos of doors on the old districts of Europe

I thought I’d update you on my creative goals for this year, the doors I want to walk through.

Behind Door 1: a final manuscript of Yes Novel Salt Novel (edited 1.10.16)

This goal changed only ten days into the new year, as my editor and I decided to set aside the manuscript I was working on and pick up a different one. I’m thrilled about that and loving the chance to dive back into the world of Salt Novel, which is set on an island. So fun! I got a little sick, and that set me back in my revision timeline, but then again, we just decided to push the publication back to summer 2018, so it’s probably okay. I feel good about the direction of this book; I’ll update you after I submit a draft to my editor next month! But rest assured, you’re gonna love these characters. They are fun and jaded and had so many sharp edges. I adore them.

Behind Door 2: a first draft of my next novel.

This is not gonna happen, not with the revised timeline. That’s okay.

Behind Door 3: three new story ideas, just the bare bones.

I’ve been thinking on these– I have characters taking shape in my brain, characters who beckon me to know them better.

Behind Door 4: a writing retreat.

I’m planning it for this summer. Gosh, I feel like I could do so much damage if I could just get a week in Duluth.

Behind Door 5: a day of creative exploration.

I haven’t really thought about this much. I was waiting for it to be nicer outside first. And then– “like the first signs of spring, like good news” (Narnia)– it was 60 degrees here yesterday! (And then today it snowed a little. Oh Minnesota.)

Behind Door 6: a pruned TBR shelf, via reading and weeding.

hpbI’m getting back in the rhythm of reading! Feels so good. I just DNFed a book halfway through last night, which sucks (and no, I won’t tell you which book! I really want my blog to be a place where I rave about the books I love, not complain about the books I don’t– which is why you will almost never see a negative review here). That prompted me to go through my TBR (to be read) bookshelf and be brutally honest with myself about what books I’m unlikely to read. I pulled almost twenty books off the shelf!

Behind Door 7: a book of poetry every month.

Staying on track! Tomorrow my review of It Becomes You by Dobby Gibson will go live. Join me next month in reading Siphon, Harbor by Brooklyn Copeland. A list for the whole year is available here.

Behind Door 8: a healthier writing lifestyle.

Figuring it out! I’m taking one day a week away from writing, which feels really good and alleviates the pressure. I’ve also created a detailed word count document that keeps me from feeling like I have to do EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. Next step: training myself to go to bed on time!!

So, there you have it. Trucking along. Mostly. 🙂

Being a Creator is Uncomfortable

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This week an interview with Leigh Bardugo was published in which she said, “I think the hard work of writing is just how long a book is terrible before it’s good.”

That’s a one-sentence summary of this post. 🙂

Jackie Lea Sommers's avatarJACKIE LEA SOMMERS

Writing a novel is a long, difficult journey full of emotions. Some days I’m thrilled with my work; some days it disgusts me. Sometimes I feel a sort of writer’s high; often I am in a slump.

But amidst all the join and pain of writing, I experience this level of … discomfort. Discomfort is probably the best word for it.

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I’ve been thinking a little bit about it, and I have a few random thoughts. Do you care if I use bullet points? Thanks.

  • My discomfort stems from having something incomplete. I understand that the nature of creation is that something is being created and that likely doesn’t happen in a moment. But I hate having messy drafts. I want to know that if I got hit by a bus today, something could still be done with my manuscript. (Gruesome much, Sommers?)
  • I think this discomfort is a huge…

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Fiction: How I Start

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Was talking about some of these things with a book club (that just read Truest and invited me to join them for discussion) this week. Thought I’d repost. Tell me about how YOU start a story.

Jackie Lea Sommers's avatarJACKIE LEA SOMMERS

Not that you should necessarily take writing-life advice from me.  Perhaps you ought to listen to Jo Rowling and spend seven years plotting.  But this it the irrational, backward way I start a new story.

1. I have a tiny idea.  Teenaged wards of the state in hospice care.  That’s nowhere near a full-blown idea, let alone a plot, but it’s enough.  Just a tiny idea is all I need.  But I have to love it, have to want it.

2. Characters.  Whatever-this-is-going-to-be is going to be nothing without a handful of characters.  I start with names and photos, which I find by scouring the internet until angels start singing.  Again, this seems backward, doesn’t it?

Yes, I think.  Her name will be Macaulay, and she will go by Mack.  And this will be her.

mackThat’s fascinating, I think.  She has purple hair.  I didn’t know…

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