Tag Archives: 2016 creative goals

Doors Closed, Doors Opened

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Hi friends. I’m having a bad, hard day. One where it was a battle to even climb out of bed, and in fact, one where I didn’t climb out of bed till early afternoon. Things have been going much better with my sleep since meeting with the insomnia doctor two weeks ago, but then I have a day like today, and I feel like a failure.

I know I’m not a failure. But there’s still this weird shame for me to not be able to get out of bed. I feel like I let everyone, including myself, down. But I’m trying to show myself grace. So I decided to look through my goals for 2016 and see where I’m at. Even though I know that I have not met most of them, I still feel good about my progress.

collage photos of doors on the old districts of Europe

Behind Door 1: a final manuscript of Salt Novel 

I have finally gotten back in the groove of writing. I am writing every day and loving it. I feel like that hadn’t happened yet in 2016. Eight months in, I have found a rhythm. I feel good about what I’m writing. I want to write. I am sitting down every night to do the hard, fulfilling work of wrestling through a manuscript and its issues. I am solving them as I encounter them, giving myself time and grace to find solutions. I have hope that this novel might be really special.

Behind Door 2: a first draft of my next novel.

I realized I already have this. It’s called Yes Novel.

Behind Door 3: three new story ideas, just the bare bones.

I have very thin ideas for Fox Novel, Ivy Novel, and Glass Novel.

Behind Door 4: a writing retreat.

I did this, but very, very low-scale. I usually go to Duluth for around a week each summer, but it just wouldn’t work out with finances and PTO this year, so I did a long weekend in my beautiful home office, and even though it was all brainstorming and plotting and no actual writing during those four days, I ended up about a thousand miles from where I began. It was amazing.

Behind Door 5: a day of creative exploration.

Does it count that I went to a really cool restaurant the other day? I still really want to do this. Okay, I just asked on Quora for some ideas.

Behind Door 6: a pruned TBR shelf, via reading and weeding.

I started off the year STRONG. I was brutal on my TBR shelf and made several trips to Half Price Books. I was also really good at not buying new books unless I really, really, really wanted them and had a gift card. In the second half of the year, I’ve gotten bad again, buying buying buying. Though I am using the library more than I have since I was in high school, so that’s smart! Okay, I am recommitting to being smarter about my book-buying habits.

Behind Door 7: a book of poetry every month.

Not happening. No matter how bad I want it to happen. I’m just not in the right spot to make this a thing right now.

Behind Door 8: a healthier writing lifestyle.

See Door 1! I feel like I’m doing so, so, so much better. Trying to be smarter about writing in small, two-hour chunks instead of killing myself with a twelve-hour writing marathon. Just trying to move forward every day. Reading The Art of Slow Writing was so good for me.

Thoughts

Okay, so I’m not a failure. I’ve plodded through deep waters this year, and I haven’t drowned yet. In fact (if I set aside how low and icky today was), I am on my way toward tremendous health. My OCD is in check. I haven’t needed to see my therapist in months. I am taking real steps to solve my sleep issues and those steps are, for the most part, working. I have healthy relationships. I have a writing project that fulfills me. I have committed to staying in my role in admissions for now and have lots of ideas to improve my recruiting. I’m not a failure. Today was a setback, but those are normal. Back on the horse, Sommers. Forward.

Doors/Goals Update

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collage photos of doors on the old districts of Europe

Hi peeps. So, I figured I should do an update on my goals. Less for you, more for me.

Behind Door 1: a final manuscript of Yes Novel Salt Novel (???) (edited 1.10.16)

I’m about to start on a second draft of Salt Novel. I have lots of ideas but very little motivation. I need to crank out a draft in the next 5-6 weeks. Ultimately, I need to have a final draft by next summer in order to publish by summer 2018. I feel like I know what I want to do with this novel– though I’m not entirely sure how to do that. If you’re the praying sort, this would be something you could pray for me about. I desperately want to write a beautiful, thought-provoking, successful novel, but HOW? I read this thing today by Neil Gaiman about how Gene Wolfe told him, “You never learn how to write a novel. You only learn to write the novel you’re on.”

I need to learn to write Salt Novel.

Behind Door 2: a first draft of my next novel.

I mean, technically I have a first or second draft of Yes Novel. Does that count? That’s all I’m gonna eke out this year.

Behind Door 3: three new story ideas, just the bare bones.

I do indeed have some ideas tumbling around my mind on the delicate cycle. Stuff about foxes and carousels and Romania. It feels far away though.

Behind Door 4: a writing retreat.

I’m taking off the week of Independence Day. I don’t think I’ll have enough money to travel anywhere, but a staycation sounds so nice. My basement is beautiful and inspiring and cool and will work. I’d rather have Lake Superior out my window, but the pond at my townhome will have to do!

Behind Door 5: a day of creative exploration.

Just asked on Facebook for suggestions. I need to start crafting this!!

Behind Door 6: a pruned TBR shelf, via reading and weeding.

This has been a success. I’ve sold a lot of books to Half Price Books, read a bunch, and am being more selective about the books I buy! I’m using the library more too. Note: I’m not against having a large book collection, but there is something not right about purchasing books that sit unread for years and years, only to sell them off at a fraction of the cost. This is about being a smarter reader and a smarter steward.

Behind Door 7: a book of poetry every month.

I really suck at this, don’t I? I never get more than 3 or 4 months into the year before I lose sight of this goal. I need to try to pick this back up. This summer’s book is My Bright Abyss by Christian Wiman. I need to get cracking!

Behind Door 8: a healthier writing lifestyle.

I’m trying. So hard. I’m taking more breaks, giving myself more grace, going regularly to therapy, trying to eat better. I need to get outside more, especially before the Minnesota summer gets too hot to handle. Trying, trying, trying.

The Doors

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No, not these guys.

the doors

These guys:

collage photos of doors on the old districts of Europe

I thought I’d update you on my creative goals for this year, the doors I want to walk through.

Behind Door 1: a final manuscript of Yes Novel Salt Novel (edited 1.10.16)

This goal changed only ten days into the new year, as my editor and I decided to set aside the manuscript I was working on and pick up a different one. I’m thrilled about that and loving the chance to dive back into the world of Salt Novel, which is set on an island. So fun! I got a little sick, and that set me back in my revision timeline, but then again, we just decided to push the publication back to summer 2018, so it’s probably okay. I feel good about the direction of this book; I’ll update you after I submit a draft to my editor next month! But rest assured, you’re gonna love these characters. They are fun and jaded and had so many sharp edges. I adore them.

Behind Door 2: a first draft of my next novel.

This is not gonna happen, not with the revised timeline. That’s okay.

Behind Door 3: three new story ideas, just the bare bones.

I’ve been thinking on these– I have characters taking shape in my brain, characters who beckon me to know them better.

Behind Door 4: a writing retreat.

I’m planning it for this summer. Gosh, I feel like I could do so much damage if I could just get a week in Duluth.

Behind Door 5: a day of creative exploration.

I haven’t really thought about this much. I was waiting for it to be nicer outside first. And then– “like the first signs of spring, like good news” (Narnia)– it was 60 degrees here yesterday! (And then today it snowed a little. Oh Minnesota.)

Behind Door 6: a pruned TBR shelf, via reading and weeding.

hpbI’m getting back in the rhythm of reading! Feels so good. I just DNFed a book halfway through last night, which sucks (and no, I won’t tell you which book! I really want my blog to be a place where I rave about the books I love, not complain about the books I don’t– which is why you will almost never see a negative review here). That prompted me to go through my TBR (to be read) bookshelf and be brutally honest with myself about what books I’m unlikely to read. I pulled almost twenty books off the shelf!

Behind Door 7: a book of poetry every month.

Staying on track! Tomorrow my review of It Becomes You by Dobby Gibson will go live. Join me next month in reading Siphon, Harbor by Brooklyn Copeland. A list for the whole year is available here.

Behind Door 8: a healthier writing lifestyle.

Figuring it out! I’m taking one day a week away from writing, which feels really good and alleviates the pressure. I’ve also created a detailed word count document that keeps me from feeling like I have to do EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. Next step: training myself to go to bed on time!!

So, there you have it. Trucking along. Mostly. 🙂