I am not even joking, every Sunday morning after the pastor has preached and prayed and the band begins to play, it is all I can do to keep from running down that aisle toward the communion table. I am always eager for that bread and cup, that holy reminder of my Savior’s body and blood, and as I swallow in the pew, I think, This is the best meal of my week.
I am so grateful for Jesus Christ’s sacrifice, and I think this eucharistic sacrament is a beautiful and sacred way to celebrate it.
There are essentially three reasons I will like a book:
1) The writing is beautiful. If the writing is lyrical, or the prose almost reads as poetry, or if the writer has great diction and uses sounds to her advantage, I’m captured. When an author does a dance with words and creates images that burst like berries on the tongue, I’m sold.
2) The plot is fascinating. I love books that have twists and turns and surprises. I don’t need them to be action-packed, just interesting, with interesting scenes and a great storyline.
3) The message is profound. When the story tugs at my heart or opens up my mind to new ways of understanding something, the book touches (and sometimes changes) my life.
Some books fall under one of these categories, and it is enough to make me love it. For example, Annie Dillard’s book For the Time Being is beautifully written (for that matter, pretty much anything she writes is!), but there is not really a plot to it, nor did its message truly change my life. Harry Potter has a thrilling storyline that completely pulled me in, and the series also has a wonderful theme of good versus evil, but I wouldn’t say that Rowling (in those books) is a lyrical writer, although she does have her moments! Hinds’ Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard is an allegory, and as such, the plot is pretty obvious, but the message deeply touched me and wrenched tears from me left and right. As you know, The Chronicles of Narnia are my absolute favorite for their fun plots and the deep truths in them, but the writing is not as beautiful as some other things Jack Lewis has written.
To me, some of the best writers are those who combine all three of these elements. Some of the best examples I have of this are The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (gorgeous writing, super fun storyline, excellent message), C.S. Lewis’s space trilogy (the writing is so masterful it makes me want to curl up inside of it, the plot is riveting, and the takeaways are tremendous), Peace Like a River by Leif Enger (literary writing at its very finest, interesting characters and storyline, an underlying message that is like a rock to stand on), and The Last Unicorn by Peter Beagle (breathtaking writing, intriguing fantasy plot, message that lingers long).
Your turn. What makes you like a book? Are you drawn to one of these three reasons over the others? What are your best examples of books that fit these categories?
the sacrificial death and mighty resurrection of Jesus Christ | my parents and siblings and the fun we have together | being rescued in my life over and over and over again | CBT | the writing life | my roommate Desiree | Nutella | my little sweeties Emma, Ava, and Elsie | Northwestern College | my co-workers | my bestie Eir | The Chronicles of Narnia | Silas Hart | the gift of creativity | all my dear friends* | great books | great opportunities | the Holy Bible | lunches with Elyse | Facebook | online shopping | Friday nights | Trinity City Church | Pine Haven | sliced apples | Etsy
And you?
*It’s always hard to name names in something like this because I have a million people that I adore, and I know I will always leave someone out. That said, I will say that I am grateful for coffee dates with Ashley and internet chats with Kristin Luehr. I love being a total nerd with Dora and meeting up with Anna to write. I love Tracy’s sense of humor and Cindy’s deep way of thinking (and all the writing feedback!). I miss Megs’s infectious laughter. Des, I love being your roomie and friend, and I am so grateful for all the chats we have before your early bedtime! Eir, you are a true delight. Elyse, a ten-hour conversation wouldn’t be long enough. Cait, our unfiltered friendship is totally weird and wonderful. I am so blessed to know Brooke and Lauren and Stacey and Mary and Jessica and Brittane and my writing group and all my lovely former roommates. The Voye girls are like a medicine to me. And everyone else who wasn’t mentioned by name, I love you too! God has truly blessed this writer with an amazing and encouraging community!
May I just say that I love living in the Twin Cities of Minnesota, which boast the nation’s second highest number of arts opportunities per capita (after New York City)? Well, I do.
Here are my most recent adventures:
First, my friend Anna and I went to the Fitzgerald Theater, St. Paul’s oldest theater, to hear Erin Morgenstern, author of The Night Circus, be interviewed for Minnesota Public Radio and the Star Tribune’s “Talking Volumes” event. You may remember that I posted earlier this year about The Night Circus, which blew my mind and was one of my favorite books I read this year. It tells the story of two magicians in a competition who end up in love. Morgenstern was so sweet and unassuming, and she seemed legitimately surprised that so many people would show up to hear her interview. She talked about how the book is being made into a movie, and how the Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is making a Night Circus line of perfume. Some musicians at the event had written a song called “Morgenstern’s Circus in C Minor.” It’s like fan fiction in different media! Absolutely loved it. Spin-off art!
I was very encouraged to hear Morgenstern speak because she was so real and told us that The Night Circus didn’t even have a plot when she first wrote it! It reminds me so much of the writing of Lights All Around, when, day after day, I would just sit down and write whatever was on my mind, hoping it would all eventually be “book-shaped,” Morgenstern’s word for it.
The next night, I went with Eir to the Mixed Blood Theater in Minneapolis to watch the musical “Next to Normal.” A musical about bipolar disorder … I wasn’t sure how it was going to be, but it was unbelievable! The music was beautiful, and the story was heart-breaking. I held in my tears for the whole two hours– but barely! To show such a deep depression through the evocative power of music just rended my heart. And for this obsessive-compulsive girl who has fought such similar battles, it struck so close to home! The depression, the sadness, the way it hurts the people you love, all the pills and the therapists and grasping at straws. If you ever have the opportunity to see this musical (which has been on Broadway in the past), please do. It may very well change you.
I love my cities. I never believed this smalltown farm girl would say something like that, but it’s so true!
I always think of Mpls as masculine and St. Paul as feminine. Is that weird?
Once my writing instructor showed me a book, the spine of it flat like a bridge with a steep slope on each side, and said, “A lot of times we feel that walking in God’s will is like this, a skinny path that we have to walk carefully or else we’ll slip easily out of it. But I think it’s more like this.” She flipped the book around and opened it, so that the pages formed a sort of valley into the creased center of the book. “We are safer than we think.”
What I know is that when I am writing I feel safe inside the will of God, as if I am walking in that crease, protected on either side in a way that actually guides me along the path. Writing is this safe and holy valley for me.
To write, you have to think, to risk, to intuit, to listen– and so, after I write, I feel as though I have spent time with God. As if he has taken my hand and reminded me, This is what I made you for, as I explore the world with him.
Books matter to me. So, so much.
So when my friend, who is halfway through The Book Thief, asked, “Now, who is Rudy again?” I about died.
Now, I deeply love this friend; she is brilliant and fun and cares so much about people and justice and mercy. But come on. Who is RUDY? WHO IS RUDY STEINER??! Why are you reading this book if you can’t remember one of the MAIN CHARACTERS?!!! Where is the RESPECT?
Okay, done ranting. I think.
I am not this way with all books– but there are certain, choice stories where I am quite literally offended if a friend doesn’t like them, almost as if I were the author. When my friend Jessica read Narnia for the first time, I was upfront with her: “Please tell me you liked them. I will actually be offended if you didn’t.” She did. Phew.
When my roommate told me that The Fault in Our Stars was “good, but not great,” I didn’t want to throw her off a cliff or anything. When my sister couldn’t get into The Sky is Everywhere, I didn’t want to disown her. I don’t have to worry about what I’d do to someone who didn’t like Stargirl because I have never met such a fool.
But The Chronicles of Narnia, The Book Thief, Peace Like a River … do not disrespect these stories.
Or else feel my wrath. 🙂
“The best work is done with the heart breaking, or overflowing.”
Mignon McLaughlin, journalist and author (1913-1983)“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”
Robert Frost, poet (1874-1963)
These quotes, which I have long loved, are moving from head knowledge to reality in my life. Allow me to explain.
Draft one of Truest was written ferociously in a period of six months. It was a typical first draft– write the easy parts, skim over (or completely ignore) the hard parts– and that is fine with me. I am the kind of person who needs to write about seventeen drafts before it’s ready for the public. I had a few friends read it, most of whom enjoyed it and made important recommendations (a special thank you to Kristin Luehr, who changed the whole course of the novel).
The next draft was hard. It absolutely, completely broke my heart. Ask my roommate. For a period of about a week I was despondent, and for about three days in a row, I could not stop weeping. Desiree would ask about my day, and I would just start to sob and say to her, “I don’t know what to do for them [Silas and West, my characters]. My heart is broken in two, and I’m stuck. I don’t know how to fix the problem that I have gotten them into.”
I was depressed, grieving, and at a loss for what to do next. My friend Kristin swept in again (she is a hero!) and reminded me that my characters lived in a world where Christ existed. After that, the story’s ending started to fall into place.
When I had friends read this draft, most of them reported that they cried. I will have to investigate further, but my expectation is that since my own heart was torn in two as I wrote, all that pain was able to flow out of it freely and unhindered and land directly in the pages of my story.
So yes, McLaughlin. Yes, Frost. I believe you now. I really do.
Last Wednesday, I was interviewed about my OCD in front of a group of around 100 students at the college where I work. It was such a blessing to be able to share with them. We talked about wanting to keep OCD a secret, about how OCD affected my relationships, about cognitive-behavioral therapy, about how long it took for me to find relief.
Afterward, I had a small group of students who hung around to ask questions and to connect with me. One girl was crying, telling me her older sister had OCD and she hoped that her sister could “come as far” as I had. Another told me that she had never had the chance to meet someone who struggled the same way as she did. Another asked some great, probing questions about CBT. Two days later, I had a mom email me and tell me that her daughter had come to my chapel talk and told her how great it was to hear from someone else who’d been diagnosed with scrupolosity. I’ve scheduled or am scheduling several coffee dates with these newfound obsessive-compulsive friends.
The mom wrote:
I could tell it meant a lot to her the other night to hear that someone she knows, and is successful and enjoying her career, and has remained faithful amidst all the doubts scrupulosity brings is living an abundant life. You are the first person she’s met that truly struggles as she does; someone who understands better than any councelor or psychologist or psychiatrist OR MOM WHO HAD READ EVERY BOOK SHE CAN GET HER HANDS ON TO HELP HER DAUGHTER.
It’s sad, but it’s also true. No one really gets an obsessive-compulsive like another obsessive-compulsive. I am so grateful for every opportunity I have to connect with someone else who GETS IT. We haved lived a nightmare together– while others only hear about it second-hand. OCs truly share a unique experience of pain, struggle, and attack.
I hope that these new OCs I’ve connected with will also one day share my story of victory. Please Jesus.
I am writing this post from the Starbucks located in the lobby of the Boston Sheraton Hotel, having had an incredible weekend. My friend Cindy joined me in Boston, and I was sooooo blessed by her company; together, we explored Boston and Cambridge, including adventures like eating White Trash cheese dip at Bukowski Tavern, incredible treats at Georgetown Cupcake, and my first experience on the subway!
But Saturday night was certainly the highlight. First of all, the International OCD Foundation has incredible staff members, and they made this whole experience so simple for me– booking my flight and hotel, picking me up from the airport (someone was there with a “J. Sommers” sign!!), and giving me plenty of time to explore the city. Jeff Bell, spokesperson for the foundation and founder of the Adversity 2 Advocacy Alliance, was the emcee of the event, and he sat down with me on Saturday morning and asked fascinating questions about my OCD and my writing, putting me totally at ease about the on-stage interview that would come that evening.
The event began with a cocktail hour, and then the award ceremony began. Jeff Bell is an absolute all-star, and he discussed the theme of OCD awareness week, which was “Dare to believe … together we can beat OCD,” hitting hard on the DARE, the BELIEVE, and the TOGETHER. I cannot tell you how impressed I was with this man– I can’t wait to learn more about his A2A Alliance. He has also written a book, which I’d like to read and review on this site soon.
After that, I was the first to share. I read an excerpt of my novel, and people laughed in all the right places. It was an incredible audience, a vocal one, so you knew when they were totally jiving with you. Love that. Then Jeff interviewed me on the stage about my experiences. The only question he asked me that I didn’t expect was “Do you ever worry that people will think your fictional story is actually your true story?” and I said, “No, I don’t worry about that because I’m not ashamed of my OCD. Neely has a lot of the same experiences as I’ve had … except she has a much better love life,” which made the audience laugh. We also talked about cognitive-behavioral therapy and about how it is simultaneously horrible/incredible and how someone will know he/she is ready for it “when the hell you’re in becomes worse than the hell you’ll have to go through.” It’s true.
Next up was Jenn Cullen from Washington, DC, who wrote a children’s story called Ranger Ben Discovers the Mysterious Mr. OCD, this wonderful story to help children with OCD feel empowered to tackle their disorder. She wrote it for her son Ben, who was diagnosed with OCD at age 5. He is 13 now, and he joined her on the stage. Very, very cool.
Then we watched a film trailer for Englander Claire Watkinson’s in-process documentary called Living with Me and My OCD. Claire is so talented, and I am so excited to follow the progress of her documentary!
Vincent Christoffersen from New Zealand finished off the evening with his song called “Till I’m Down,” which I completely adored. Vincent is 21, looks 15, and has the maturity of a 30-year-old. He had wonderful stage presence and everyone LOVED him!
They also presented an IOCDF Hero Award to Denis Asselin of Walking with Nathaniel. Denis’s son Nathaniel suffered from intense body dysmorphic disorder, on the OCD spectrum, and took his own life in 2011. Denis made a 500-mile pilgrimage from Cheyney, PA, to Boston, MA, for BDD awareness and research. It took everything in me not to weep as he spoke.
Afterward I met him and was very impressed by his humility. I also met Michael Jenike, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School (by the way, I just looked him up, and his CV is 92 pages long! Intense!), and a slew of people who thanked me for my story. It was a wonderful, well-planned event, and I enjoyed being in a group of OCs and awareness advocates, and it only made me want to do MORE. I want to just scream from the rooftops about CBT, and I want to help the general public to understand more about OCD (unfortunately, it still believes primarily that OCs are just “neat freaks”).
This whole Boston trip was an incredible adventure, and I want to thank everyone who voted for me in the creative expression contest. I loved-loved-LOVED this entire experience, and I am so grateful to you for making it possible for me.
On a sidenote, I really want to go to the IOCDF annual conference in Atlanta when it rolls around next year … anyone want to join me??? 🙂
The week after OCD Awareness Week, I am going to be a part of a breakout chapel service at the university where I work. (I am employed by Northwestern College, the most wonderful Christian college in the world … as an alumnus, I’m a little biased. Ha!) I am going to be interviewed by one of the campus therapists, and I am just so eager to tell my story.
I think one of the most helpful things for OCs is to hear their own story on someone else’s lips.
It makes us feel less alone.
I remember my first conversation with another obsessive-compulsive. I was sitting on a dock underneath a sky of summer stars, and as we talked, it was like shrugging off a giant sheath that had separated me from everyone else. I was not alone; this person had the same experiences.
And when I read Kissing Doorknobs by Terri Spencer Hesser, it was like reading my own biography. It stole power from OCD, just reading that, because it showed me how not creative the disorder is … sure, it has a variety of manifestations, but at their core, they are really very similar.
And that is what I am hoping will happen for someone in the audience on October 17th. For that person to say, That sounds just like me! I am not an anomoly.
JACKIE LEA SOMMERS 
