3 Novels That Changed My Life

last battleThe Last Battle by C.S. Lewis

The truth is that I’ve lived a lot of my life in fear.  Twenty years in bondage to obsessive-compulsive disorder will do that to a person.  I’ve been afraid of so many things, most often related to my faith journey and the way that God sees me.  The concept of eternity collapsed me.

The Last Battle helped me to not be so scared.

the-book-thiefThe Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I was a mediocre writer in college and in the years following.  Okay, maybe above average.  But excellence happened by accident, and I was hesitant to embrace imagery and metaphor because it felt very physically descriptive to me.

But in The Book Thief, I encountered imagery that was emotionally descriptive, images that rousted my soul and completely changed the way I write.


faultThe Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Even though young adult literature was my favorite to read, I still spent four years writing a novel for adults and then started in earnestly on a second one.

Then I encountered John Green’s masterpiece, angels started singing and fireworks exploded in my brain, and I adopted my new identity as a YA author.

Related posts:
Thoughts on The Last Battle
My History as a Writer
The Importance of The Fault in Our Stars

Thoughts on Rejection

no thanksEvery aspiring writer is told she is going to have to learn to deal with rejection, that rejection is simply a normal part of the road to publication.  I’d read how Stephen King hammered a big ol’ railroad spike into his wall and then hung rejection after rejection on the spike till they pulled it out of the wall.  Jo Rowling was told to get a day job because of the unlikelihood she could make money in children’s books.  Twenty-six publishers rejected the future Newberry Medal-winning A Wrinkle in Time.  Gone with the Wind?  Rejected by 38 publishers.

knew I’d experience rejection as I pursued publication; I braced myself for it.

It still hurt.

I’ll admit that with Truest, what will be my debut YA novel, I made it through the gauntlet rather easily.  But please remember thatprior to Truest, I’d poured four years of my life into a novel that never even got an agent.  I sent out maybe forty queries, and one agent asked to read the manuscript.  Then kindly said no and suggested edits.

Four years is a lot of your life, time, energy, emotions.  Your heart.

I actually started writing Truest while waiting to hear back from literary agents regarding Lights All Around.  When the onslaught of rejections came, I was protected– cushioned– from the sting by the excitement I had for my new project.  That taught me to fill my waiting time with work.

I’ve heard of authors receiving very cruel rejections, but those I received were quite cordial.  In fact, a couple of them sounded more like a yes than a no.

From an agent:

Thank you so, so much for your giving me the chance to consider TRUEST, even so late in the game! I appreciate it more than you know. I came away from Big Sur so impressed by you, certain that you have the authorial (and editorial) eye, the professionalism, and the charming/witty personality to be incredibly successful in this industry. And now that I’ve had a chance to read your work, I’m even more impressed and even more certain. You are a truly talented writer, with a masterful command of language and of your characters. You make it look effortless, like the best of the best do. All of your characters are fully round and compelling, and your depiction of small town teen life is vivid and fully engaging. I even spent a good half hour trying to find the August Arms radio program because it sounded so marvelous and right up my alley!
However, after much soul-searching and late night agonizing, and with so much regret, I’m afraid I don’t feel I’m the right agent for TRUEST. I get lost in your writing in the best way, and I believe TRUEST is about something (which I mean as high praise).  […] I will be first in line to buy my copy of TRUEST. 
From an editor:
It’s always such a pleasure reading the submissions you send my way and TRUEST was certainly no exception. This is a powerful contemporary story with a cast of layered yet relatable characters. I’m going to pass because I struggled to connect the complicated chronology of the framework but I recognize that there is definitely something special here. West and Silas (what fantastic names!) form a magnetic relationship and their stark differences play off each other with vigor. The dark tension lurking beneath the surface of the storyline is captivating and makes for a compelling read.

These kind, gentle rejections are interesting to process.  They are encouraging, on the one hand, but on the other: they’re still a no.

I feel terrifically blessed in regard to Truest.  I queried my first round of YA agents on July 11, 2013, and Steven Chudney offered me representation on August 7, less than one month later.  (By the way, as I look at the dates now, I’m shocked that it took less than one month– it felt like about four.)  Steven suggested some edits, and I returned the manuscript to him on September 9.  Steven sent the manuscript out into the world on September 16.  November 12, Steven told me that Jill Davis at HarperCollins loved my story and would be sharing it with her boss.  November 20, HarperCollins made me a two-book offer.

Those four months and nine days felt so much longer than that.  Remember that while things were cooking with Steven– and later, with Jill– I was still getting rejections.

All told:
30 rejections from literary agents
4 rejections from editors

Anyway, I realize that this is a meandering post about rejection.  I can be done now.  Except that I want to say that rejection is hard.  It hurts so bad to have someone turn down your “baby” (novel, short story, memoir, etc.).  Those four months and nine days felt like I’d willingly hopped aboard the Rollercoaster of Agony and Anticipation.  But they were worth it because now my dreams are coming true!

P.S. Check out literaryrejections.com for some amazing facts about books that endured rejection to eventually become bestsellers.

P.P.S. Click here to learn more about my novel Truest.

From Hit-or-Miss to Hard Work

In undergrad, my best writing mostly came about by accident.  I stumbled into the right story or else caught myself on a “good” writing day or else was incited to revise in order to better my grade.  Even then I knew that you couldn’t wait for inspiration to strike, but it was hard to imagine that anything could get done if inspiration never arrived.

These days, though, my best writing is produced by hard work.  It comes about because I show up and sit down and force myself to produce words.  I know that even an “uninspired” night– after night after night after night– can still be productive.  I have learned that showing up produces a bad first draft.  After which, showing up then produces a better second draft.  Rinse and repeat.

Showing up matters.  In some ways, it’s what matters the most.

work hard

Related posts:
Writing is Hard
I Repeat: Writing is Hard
Trusting the Creative Process

How I Fall Asleep

can'tsleep3Obsessive-compulsive disorder.  If you can put two and two together, you probably realize that falling asleep is difficult for many of us with OCD.  Our minds won’t stop processing.  Sometimes I’d imagine that my roomie could hear my head from the next room over, churning like a coffee grinder as I rehashed the day, worried about tomorrow, and let my mind chase its own tail as I ruminated on unknowable concerns.

The same thing unfortunately happened on long car rides.

My solution for both was simple, though there’s no guarantee it will work for others.

Audiobooks.

Instead of trying to turn off my mind, I instead gave it something specific to think about, to dwell on, to follow: a story.

And not just any story, but a story I was already familiar with.  This was important because then I could fall asleep without worrying that I’d miss something.

I also take risperidone (can’t sleep without it!) and melatonin (to help me stay asleep through the night).

Anyone else have any clever ideas for falling asleep with OCD?

Related posts:
When Thinking Hurts
Amazing Audiobooks

That Time Anne Lamott Responded to Me

Let’s be honest: this week has been hard.  Really hard.

Writing-wise.

I am writing a first draft, and it’s going horribly (as writing a first draft is wont to go), and I’m stumbling into evening after evening of soul-shaking, identity-questioning doubts about my writing abilities.

I’m a fraud.
I don’t know how to write a book.
I don’t have a second book in me.
My agent and editor and everyone else will discover that I’m just a one-book girl.

Goodreads hosted an event “Ask Anne Lamott” this past week, and just now, I have found the time to sift through her responses.  You need to know that Anne Lamott always seems to be speaking directly to my heart– we are both writers, Christians, and women who wildly, desperately need help– and so all of her responses to various reader-posed questions felt like balm.  This one, in fact, felt like validation:

Anne Lamott

“You have to be pretty lost and crazy” in writing fiction.  Yes, okay, I reassure myself.  This is just the way of things; this is The Way It Goes.

But then, there it was– an actual response to me.  Me!  Jackie Lea Sommers!

Anne Lamott to Me

“Short assignments, shitty first drafts, and just do it.”  Yes, thank you.  That is how my next novel will get written: day after day writing something bad, then making it less bad, then making it good, then making it great.  I’m in the bad stage right now, and that’s okay.

“You get to ask people for help.”  Yes, thank you.  I actually stopped in to my beloved writing professor’s office just yesterday to vocalize my fears, and she said that if I needed encouragement in the zen of writing or someone to commiserate with, I could just ask.  I will definitely be asking.  And then, last night, I met with [some, but not all, of] my writing group, women who let me vent about Penn and Maggie, my newest characters, and about their problems.  My group members listened and encouraged and offered suggestions, and it was lovely.  And I’m so terribly grateful for my beta readers too!

“And read a lot more poetry.”  I couldn’t agree more.  I think I’ll start with some Mary Oliver tonight.  I haven’t yet had a chance to crack open her latest, A Thousand Mornings.  Then Christian Wiman’s Every Riven Thing.  It sounds like respite.

The Joy of Creation: Why I Love Being a Fiction Writer

writer5On the one hand, the fiction writer has absolute power and total freedom.  She can invent new worlds and move seamlessly between them.  She is the inventor of personalities, the puppeteer manipulating decisions, the master event-planner, and the goddess of details.  The fiction writer laughs at limits, shoulders through barriers, imposes her own laws.  She is wild with creativity.

On the other hand, the writing pushes back, and that too is beautiful.  Characters refuse to be whom she asks them to be; they choose their own names, dig in their heels, are stubborn as hell.  And despite all her planning, sometimes the events unfold in ways she couldn’t orchestrate on her own.

It’s the combination of these two things– this unfettered freedom that slow-dances with the art’s own identity– that makes the fiction writer love to write.

Related posts:
Date a Girl Who Writes
My Writing Process
Love in the Form of Story

 

My Winter TBR List

First and foremost, I am excited for these books, which won’t be released until after the new year …

coming soon collage

As for books I can start immediately …

winter tbr collage 1

1. More Than This by Patrick Ness | I’m convinced Ness is a genius, and this one sounds like it might be his best yet!  From the description it seems to be about a boy named Seth who doesn’t know if he is alive or dead.  Yes.

2. OCD Love Story by Cory Ann Haydu | I need to read this for obvious reasons!

3. Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein | Historical fiction is not my first choice, but everyone tells me I have to read this one!  I’m personally hoping it will be along the lines of The Book Thief.

4. The Truth about Forever by Sarah Dessen | I’ve needed to read this one for a long time!

5. All Our Yesterdays by Cristin Terrill | More confusion.  Dual stories that might really only be one?  I’m in.

winter tbr collage 2

6. Red by Alison Cherry | Recommended by Melina Marchetta, so I say, “Yes, ma’am!”

7. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling | I’ve read this before, of course, but I won a gift card from Alison at Hardcovers & Heroines and bought the audiobook, and I’m pumped to listen to Jim Dale’s amazing performance of this, my second favorite of the series (after Deathly Hallows)!

8. Just One Day by Gayle Forman | Everyone in the blogosphere keeps talking about Just One Year, the companion book to this one, and since I haven’t read the first book yet, I keep skipping all those blog posts (too scared of spoilers!).  It’s time I dove into the world of Gayle Forman.  She’s the favorite author of some of my friends and I haven’t read anything by her yet!

9. My Bright Abyss by Christian Wiman.  The one non-fiction book on my list, I want to read this one slowly enough to chew and savor it.  I’ve read the first chapter of this book (from the library), and it was packed so full of meaning that I just knew I had to buy my own copy so that I could digest it slowly.

10. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac by Gabrielle Zevin | Barnes & Noble had a blog post that listed this as a good book for fans of John Green.  I bought it and Me and Earl and the Dying Girl.  I’ve read the other two books on the list already!

Bonus: After I bought those two books, John Green mentioned on Facebook that they were great!

jg

P.S. I love the internet.

To My Teachers

In 1957, Albert Camus won the Nobel Prize for Literature, whereupon Camus wrote this note to one of his teachers:

19 November 1957

Dear Monsieur Germain,

I let the commotion around me these days subside a bit before speaking to you from the bottom of my heart. I have just been given far too great an honour, one I neither sought nor solicited.

But when I heard the news, my first thought, after my mother, was of you. Without you, without the affectionate hand you extended to the small poor child that I was, without your teaching and example, none of all this would have happened.

I don’t make too much of this sort of honour. But at least it gives me the opportunity to tell you what you have been and still are for me, and to assure you that your efforts, your work, and the generous heart you put into it still live in one of your little schoolboys who, despite the years, has never stopped being your grateful pupil. I embrace you with all my heart.

Albert Camus

It made me think of the teachers who have most impacted my life– in particular, my writing life.

Mrs. Schmidt, you let me interrupt what we were doing that day in sixth grade to declare that I wanted to start a class newspaper– and then you let me run with it.  In fact, it was an article I wrote for the A8 Express that I entered into a Young Authors Conference contest that year, an article that won me a “scholarship” to attend that conference, where I sat amongst other 10- to 12-year-olds and thought, “I want to be good at this.  I want to be the best one in this room.”  Thank you for always, always encouraging my creativity.  You’re an amazing teacher, and while I have told you that before, now I’m telling everyone else.

Mrs. Grams, I can remember when you arrived at our high school.  I was a junior in high school; you were fresh out of college, newly married, and I was completely smitten by you.  My junior and senior year were one giant attempt to please you, and your approval was always so, so ready.  You gave me my earliest editorial experiences, and you let me read one of my short stories in front of the classroom.  Did you know I first discovered e.e. cummings in your classroom?  (I like to think of it as an incredible byproduct of standing near to you.)  And when you returned my portfolio to me, it said, “All I can say is KEEP WRITING.”  Those words propelled me into college.

Judy Hougen, when I sat in your Intro to Poetry class my first year of college, I was terrified that I would be found out as a fraud.  Instead, you took me aside after class one day and asked if you were crushing my poet-spirit.  Maybe you saw the fear in my eyes!  But you gave me three years of the best (and most intense) writing instruction of my life, and your red pen helped me develop a thicker skin, one I’d need for the harder edits that would come post-college.  You talked about writing and faith like they were a knot I’d never be able or want to untie.  Your theology around memoir writing has stuck with me for the last decade.

Dear Deb, Betsy, and Judy, thank you for your investment in me.  I am a better writer– and a better person— because of you.

thank you2

Jackie’s Holiday Book-Buying Guide

So, you want to support the book-lover in your life with an amazing literary Christmas gift– only you don’t know where to start?  Well, you’ve come to the right place!  Just identify your gift “target” in the left column and see what I suggest you purchase in the right.

holiday book buying guide

Didn’t see your target audience?  No problem!  Leave me a comment describing the person you’re buying for, and I’ll leave you my best suggestions!  (I mean this.  This is serious business, people: I’m all about getting amazing books into the right hands!)

Related posts:
My Book Recommendations