Review: The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan

lover's dictionaryHaving enjoyed David Levithan’s recent YA book (Every Day) as well as his co-authored book with John Green (Will Grayson, Will Grayson), I was excited to see he had another novel out, The Lover’s Dictionary.

I read it in about an hour.

It’s a delightful little novel/poem/dictionary with short entries and unnamed main characters, just “you” and “I.”  I didn’t know how much I’d get to know the characters through the tiny little vignettes, but the answer was a lot.  And it was a story too– a novel, though a non-traditional one.  The ending is a bit of a cliffhanger, but it seemed quite satisfying for it to end that way.

I hope you’ll enjoy it.  It includes delicious little lines like these:

“Knit me a sweater out of your best stories.”

“It was after sex, when there was still heat and mostly breathing, when there was still touch and mostly thought …”

“Cranes, the birds with the rubber necks, don’t always find carnage.  Sometimes it’s just rain.”

Christian Culture’s (Sad) Response to Mental Illness

It’s in the Title: Mental Illness is an Illness

Salads and sandwiches and a shared mental illness, all of it on the tiny table between us.

“There is help for OCD,” I told her.  “The most effective treatment is cognitive-behavioral therapy.  Between that and my medication, I got my life back.  I know you can too.”  (The evangelical zeal I have for this particular therapy reminds me of the way I love Jesus: both took me from darkness into light, both make me want to throw parades in their honor.)

“Oh, I don’t know,” said my friend, poking at her salad with a fork, sounding hesitant.  “I think before I take any extreme methods, I want to just pray about it more.  I know that God can bring me through this.”

I wanted to say, But you have been praying about this for years!  I also believe God can bring you through this—and I am telling you how.

There is a pervasive and unhealthy attitude in the Christian culture toward mental illness.  Many believe that one should be able to “pray away” a disorder.  Some think that mental illness is, quite simply, spiritual warfare; some think it’s the result of unresolved sin issues.  One of my friends has said before that a real Christian can’t be clinically depressed.  I saw a Facebook status once that read, “Depression is a choice.”

These sentiments light a fire in me, especially for the way that they marginalize a group of people that are often already more susceptible to guilt.  I know that in my OCD hey-day, I felt continual guilt and severe shame; for someone to intimate to me that these feelings were the appropriate ones would only mean that my Christian brothers and sisters were siding with my disorder—and against me.

Mental illnesses are just that: illnesses. 

friendsGod and Satan can work through them just the same way as they could through, say, cancer or diabetes.  All issues are spiritual issues, simply because we are spiritual beings, but it is not helpful to label a chemical issue with a giant term like spiritual warfare.  To say that a Christian cannot be depressed is like saying a real Christian can’t get the flu.  To say that depression is a choice is like saying strep throat is a choice.

If you break a bone, do you get it set in a cast?  If you learn you’re diabetic, do you take insulin?  If cancer steps into your body, do you pursue chemotherapy?

The answer is usually yes.  Yes—and pray.  (Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for prayer!  And for medical innovation!)

That is why I am unashamed of my OCD, my depression.  Instead, I am proud of my God for seeing me through a therapy as difficult as CBT and for being my strength through five years of side effects in the search for the right medication.

Unfortunately, my friend left the sandwich shop that evening feeling obligated to “pray away” a spiritual flaw instead of feeling empowered to fight illness, in spite of my best efforts.  My voice is being drowned out by the multitude of louder voices of the Christian culture, a culture that should be supporting this demographic, not alienating it.

C.S. Lewis on Fan Fiction

fan fiction

Now here’s where I show just how big of a Narnia nerd I am.  C.S. Lewis made a mistake in his own quote.  I know the scene he is talking about with “plenty of hints”– it’s in The Last Battleand it’s a conversation between
Jill and the Unicorn actually.

I’ve been known to dabble in a little Narnia fan fiction/fan poetry myself:
Nine Names
Cor & Aravis
Susan of Narnia
Edmund
Castle
The Professor

I’m a little out of control.

Worst Music Videos Ever

You know this list is gonna be awful/incredible when the best of the worst is “Friday”!

5. “Friday” by Rebecca Black | Just asking that mind-stumping question of the ages: which seat can I take?

4. “Mass Text” by Tay Allyn | Is this a joke?  I mean, it’s that annoying.

3. “It’s Thanksgiving” by Nicole Westbrook | The guy who did “Friday” did this one too.  Be sure to hang with it till the amazing rap into the turkey leg microphone!

2. “Hot Problems” by Double Take | This pretty much seals their spot in the Mean Girls Hall of Fame.

1. “Goodbye” by D4NNY | My heart goes out to this kid– he looks so sweet, and he tried so hard.  Unfortunately …

Opus on 1st: Yellow

So, here goes nothing!  If you have your own Opus on 1st piece to share, please post a link to it in the comments section! 

yellow2

Yellow

He is silent at the table, staring down at the place setting.  She had thought it a good idea, but the China seems a mockery. 

She knows he knows.

The roast is warm, and the potatoes too, but still she is chilled by his strange presence.  If only he would just seem as distant as usual.  This odd attending splits her nerves like firewood.  The facts she’d recited like a rosary for the last six months trip like dominos. 

It’s fine, she reassures herself, taking a seat across from him.  It wasn’t wrong.  It couldn’t have been wrong when it’s been so long.  

She helps herself, and the serving spoon is shaking in her fingers.  Shit.  He continues to stare at his empty plate.  She wants him to speak—

—until he does. 

It’s her name, and it’s a whisper, and the quiet resignation of it seems to break apart every dish on the table, seems to shatter her eardrums.  How can a whisper have such talons?

It couldn’t have been wrong, not when it’s been so long.  Not when he cared more about the newspaper, the dry cleaning, the dog. 

The damn dog.

She wishes it was last week—last week, when everything was so perfect and she’d felt such freedom.  She had owned herself.  And now, today … she wants absolution.  Instead, his eyes are accusations, but not like bullets, more like questions.

“I forgot the wine,” she mutters, getting up from the table and going into the kitchen.  She comes back with the bottle, reaches for his glass, and with a shaky hand, she pours the white wine that is not really white but yellow.