There were days when my OCD would tear my worldview out from under me. Things that I had thought were solid things to stand on (GOD-IS-GOOD, I-AM-SAVED, IT’S-OK-TO-MEET-NEW-PEOPLE, HUMANS-ARE-REALLY-HUMANS, etc.) turned into vapor beneath me, and there I was, seeming to free-fall forever.
A real, only slightly altered conversation with a former roommate:
Fanny Fakename (frustrated): I can’t believe this! I can’t believe this!
Jackie: What? What happened?
Fanny (in anguish): I just found out that my tennis retreat is the same weekend as this political rally I wanted to attend!
Jackie: Oh.
Fanny: The same weekend! This is terrible. What am I going to do? This is the worst thing that has EVER happened to me!
Jackie: thinking harm thoughts even though that is not her regular type of OCD 😉
One thing that OCD has engendered in me is perspective.
Right now, I am trying to lose weight, and it’s been a tough battle for me, but tonight I was praying aloud in my shower and what slipped out of my mouth was, “Thank you, God, that this is not an OCD thing. I can handle this. OCD was the very worst thing.”
Perspective. Love it.
What is the very worst thing that has ever happened to you? What it OCD-related? Have you been envious of friends and family when their very worst thing seemed tamer than yours?
