I have heard it credited to Saint Augustine: “Make me chaste — but not yet.”
For a long time, that was my thought about heaven. I wanted to go there someday— but definitely not today.
Heaven scared me, and it still does sometimes. There is so much I don’t understand about it:
* How can something last forever?
* Won’t it get boring?
* If all imperfection is gone, who will I even be?
* Will we have goals?
* Will I still write?
* Will there be any challenges?
* Will I interact with others or only be focused on God?
Even now, thinking about it has made me a little uneasy.
My co-worker believes that heaven will be on earth. I seem to think it will be entirely separate. I know that I will be with Christ, and since He is my true love, I will be happy. But I still get a little scared sometimes. I’m so used to this earth, as messed up and sinful as it is. I know what it is like to desire things and work for them and how to draft and re-draft chapters in a bookstore on the weekends.
I used to be even more scared of heaven– before I read The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis, that culminating seventh and final book of the Narnia series. I won’t tell you what happens in it (my favorite book), but it eases my mind about heaven. It reminds me not of the questions I have but of the JOY I’ll experience being in the presence of my Savior.
If you love Narnia even half as much as I do, you will love this song by Zach Zurn and Julian Flores (the duo known as Brothers), available for a free download here.
all is bright, greenest of greens and bluest of blues
the sweetest of fruits and freshest of springs
Our heart’s desire stands before us. the time has come
stars come home, night falls and the door is shut
“and marvel of marvels, he calls a dog like me Beloved”
we run for miles and miles, further up and further in
saints are home, we are home
Look now here He comes!
“the dream is ended: this is the morning”
“Farewell to the shadow-lands” we cry
Further up and further in, we are alive!