I have heard it credited to Saint Augustine: “Make me chaste — but not yet.”
For a long time, that was my thought about heaven. I wanted to go there someday— but definitely not today.
Heaven scared me, and it still does sometimes. There is so much I don’t understand about it:
* How can something last forever?
* Won’t it get boring?
* If all imperfection is gone, who will I even be?
* Will we have goals?
* Will I still write?
* Will there be any challenges?
* Will I interact with others or only be focused on God?
Even now, thinking about it has made me a little uneasy.
My co-worker believes that heaven will be on earth. I seem to think it will be entirely separate. I know that I will be with Christ, and since He is my true love, I will be happy. But I still get a little scared sometimes. I’m so used to this earth, as messed up and sinful as it is. I know what it is like to desire things and work for them and how to draft and re-draft chapters in a bookstore on the weekends.
I used to be even more scared of heaven– before I read The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis, that culminating seventh and final book of the Narnia series. I won’t tell you what happens in it (my favorite book), but it eases my mind about heaven. It reminds me not of the questions I have but of the JOY I’ll experience being in the presence of my Savior.