Surprise Visit from Depression

I woke up this morning with clouds in my head.

Nothing had happened.  Nothing was/is wrong.  But I feel like I’m in a fog.

My friend Cindy reminded me that it’s a lie.  It feels good to know that.

I went back to sleep until 1 PM.  When I got up, I got ready right away, knowing that staying in my pajamas would only make things worse.

I took the longest shower known to man, asking God to bring life back into me.

Now it’s 2:30 PM, and I haven’t eaten yet.  Feeling too numb to exert effort, I poured myself a bowl of cereal.  Then realized I had no milk.  Then started to cry.

I can’t nail this down.  It helps to know my body is just lying to me.  I really am excited about life (as a pre-scheduled post later today will share), eager for the new year and all it holds.  I just feel horrible right now.  I don’t want to complain to all my friends because I feel like that’s all I ever do.  So I decided to share with my blog readers.

Sometimes I forget what depression is like.  It’s been so long.  Now that I’m reminded, I want to go back into my acquired ignorance.

My best friend Erica is coming over in a little bit.  That will be good.  Even though all I want to do right now is crawl back into bed and sleep until 2014 is underway, I know that it is better that I ignore the lies and do my best to celebrate with Eir.

I don’t know what could have possibly happened overnight.  Sorry to everyone else who is feeling this way.  It’s a lie.  Life is good.  There is much to look forward to.  God bless.