Surprise Visit from Depression

I woke up this morning with clouds in my head.

Nothing had happened.  Nothing was/is wrong.  But I feel like I’m in a fog.

My friend Cindy reminded me that it’s a lie.  It feels good to know that.

I went back to sleep until 1 PM.  When I got up, I got ready right away, knowing that staying in my pajamas would only make things worse.

I took the longest shower known to man, asking God to bring life back into me.

Now it’s 2:30 PM, and I haven’t eaten yet.  Feeling too numb to exert effort, I poured myself a bowl of cereal.  Then realized I had no milk.  Then started to cry.

I can’t nail this down.  It helps to know my body is just lying to me.  I really am excited about life (as a pre-scheduled post later today will share), eager for the new year and all it holds.  I just feel horrible right now.  I don’t want to complain to all my friends because I feel like that’s all I ever do.  So I decided to share with my blog readers.

Sometimes I forget what depression is like.  It’s been so long.  Now that I’m reminded, I want to go back into my acquired ignorance.

My best friend Erica is coming over in a little bit.  That will be good.  Even though all I want to do right now is crawl back into bed and sleep until 2014 is underway, I know that it is better that I ignore the lies and do my best to celebrate with Eir.

I don’t know what could have possibly happened overnight.  Sorry to everyone else who is feeling this way.  It’s a lie.  Life is good.  There is much to look forward to.  God bless.

11 thoughts on “Surprise Visit from Depression

  1. It’s ok to feel dumpy, from time to time. There doesn’t have to be a reason, it’s just because…. and that’s all! You dont even have to label those dumpy feelings, they will pass. Enjoy your time with Eir, Happy new year Jac’

  2. “Depression is a lie” – that’s honestly the most helpful thing I’ve ever heard. And it’s true! Life can be awesome, but then everything still feels grey. I hope tomorrow’s better. Happy New Year, Jackie!

  3. I used to think that living in depression was the truth, and everyone else was being deceived into thinking life was rosy. It’s good to be free, even if I’m visited by dark days every now and then. Hopefully this will pass quickly for you.

  4. I hope this passes quickly, Jackie. I know how it feels when the darkness descends. It can have nothing to do with circumstances. It just comes. Blessings to you, friend, and I hope 2014 starts out wonderfully for you!

  5. Sorry to hear you are feeling like this right now, and I will pray that it passes quickly for you. In the daily devotional that I read I was reminded a few weeks back that the enemy does things like this to us to hold us back from our future. Hope those words help.

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