Dear Diary (February 2014)

deardiary february 2014Oh February.

Thank the Lord that February is the shortest month we’ve got because it’s also one of the hardest ones for anyone who works in recruitment for the University of Northwestern.

… that would be me.

Early in the month, I had a reading where I shared excerpts from Truest with an audience for the first time.  It was such a fun experience.  I felt like a real author.  (I guess I am a real author!)

Photo credit: Tracy Lair

Photo credit: Tracy Lair

I talked to my editor and her assistant about some major revisions to my manuscript, and we set a goal of having a new draft in six weeks.  Let me be clear: when I say “revisions,” I am not talking about simple line edits (i.e. fix this typo, add a comma here, etc.).  I’m talking about giant structural changes, about beefing up characters, about modifying scenes for better impact.  It’s hard and it’s scary and sometimes it feels too big for me to handle, but I tell myself, butt-in-seat-hands-on-keyboard.  Six weeks of that, and it has to come out shinier on the other side, right?  Right???? 🙂

Since feelings are so deceitful, I’ve been going with what my head knows: that even though my manuscript is a torn-up mess right now, it will not always be that way.  In fact, with daily attention, it won’t even be that way a month from now.

Our admissions winter visit weekend was super successful– and also utterly exhausting.  Especially for an introvert.

We had yet another snowstorm in Minnesota– a lot of snow.  We’ve had 57 inches so far this winter.  You have to know we’re pretty sick of winter here.  My heart longs for spring.  I almost got stuck in my parking lot yet again the other day.  I got out of the car, kicked the snow around the tires, got into my vehicle, and just pleaded with God, “Please, please let me get out of here.”  I was able to back up a little and get some traction.  Readers, are you used to snow where you are?  Are your winters like mine?  The weather keeps ruining my plans with friends, and everyone seems to be sick.  Everything takes so much longer because the roads are nightmarish and slick, and you have to start braking about ten miles away from where you actually want to stop.  The snow outside right now is piled so high that it would break your heart.  I am consoled though by the days stretching out longer and longer.  The sun still out at 5:30 PM makes me feel ready to break into song the way they do in Disney movies.

Image credit: Torque News

Image credit: Torque News

I bought a new car.  A red 2014 Dodge Dart.  Thank you, author advance.

I’ve been using so much lately: sending notes into the future to encourage myself.  It’s a great reminder that I will not always be where I am in this moment.  I usually only send notes into the foreseeable future, but last week I sent one five years into the future.  Doesn’t 2019 just sound impossible?  I wonder what life will look like then.

On the OCD front, I’ve been struggling a little with intrusive thoughts when I lie awake in bed at night.  It’s been quite manageable though.  I bully my little black dot and make it sleep on the [freezing cold] apartment balcony.  (What the heck is this black dot I’m talking about?  Read here and here and here.)

I’ve been using Twitter a lot lately.  A lot a lot.  If you’re on there, you should follow me: @jackieleawrites.