Even though I have been writing since I was a kid …

Even though I have a degree in creative writing …

Even though I have written almost every day for the last four years …

I sometimes still feel as if I have no idea what I am doing.  Once a month, I meet with a group of talented women writers who read my work and give me ideas on how to improve my work, and I leave these meetings doubting myself, wondering if I should go to grad school to learn more, if I should be reading other books than what I am, if I should throw in the towel.

I won’t.  I love writing too much to do that.  But it doesn’t mean that I don’t go home wondering if I am wasting everyone’s time with the scratches and jottings that I bring to the table every month.

My knowledge of the craft is still so limited.  My stories lack essential ingredients that I’ve known about since grade school.  My scenes go nowhere.  My characters are hard to believe.  I am thirty years old, and sometimes I feel as if I know nothing.

This is not the fault of the women in my writing group.  This is a lack of confidence in myself and in my work.

And yet, when I consider it, I know that I have grown as a writer in the years since undergrad.  I know that, draft after draft, I am improving.  I have a fierce dedication, such that I would write even if I were guaranteed to not find success.

Any ideas or encouragement for this doubtful girl today?  Please share.