9 thoughts on “OCD Q&A from JLS

  1. Excellent post, Jackie, which sums up everything we need to know about OCD! Thanks for all you do ti help those with the disorder and I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

  2. I just wanted to take some time to say thank you. You don’t know me, and you likely never will but I would say your website saved me. Typical OCD story: I was just chatting with a friend when she went to get something and suddenly the thought hit me, “What if I’m gay?” Naturally I tried to dispel this thought and I tried to block it out. Without realizing it I had started avoiding my friends faces (my closest friends are also female). I obsessed, ruminated, paced and had a few anxiety attacks. I tried talking it through with a friend, and if it hadn’t been (as I think it is) OCD, the discussion likely would have helped. Instead it got me into the habit of reassuring myself. A few sleepless nights, extra anxiety from exams and this recurring, distressing thought later, I was very irritable. This isn’t really a topic I can speak to my parents about, so naturally I googled it. I googled something along the lines of: “obsessed with being gay but knowing your straight”. It led me to one of your HOCD posts, and then I read through all of them. I realized OCD was likely the culprit considering the previous summer I was constantly afraid of dying due to a heart attack or stroke. The winter break of that year, grade 9, I had become obsessed with dying and what happens after death. I also unwittingly used ERP to control these fears. The first time, I realized that I was not going to commit suicide, and the only way to know what happens after you die is to die. So I might as well enjoy my life right now instead of worrying, especially because I only get one life (this came after anxiety, loss of appetite, feeling distant, lack of sleep and constant ruminating). The episode over summer kind of just faded away. There were a few more short episodes like the fear of not enjoying reading (I absolutely love to read), to which my eventual response was that if I didn’t enjoy reading I would find something else to do and it would not be the end of the world. I also had brief time worrying about being Christian (I practice a different religion), which seems ridiculous to me now because religion is your choice and you believe what you believe. Anyway I had no idea this would be considered OCD behavior until I found this website. I did some research and realized I probably did develop OCD. I haven’t told my family, or gotten diagnosed but researching ERP and implementing some techniques as well as trying to let the thoughts be there is helping. I did tell my friends, who are very supportive about the possibility of OCD as well as the possibility of being homosexual. Now I am 16, have been fighting what is likely HOCD for about 7 months and I started a blog to give my mind something else to focus on. None of that would have been possible if I hadn’t stumbled on this blog. Thank you again for having the courage to share your experiences! It has helped me a lot! I wish you a very Merry Christmas and hope you have a great year!

  3. Hi Jackie,
    Does HOCF cause you to take enjoyment out of the favorite activities that you used to have? Plus, could insecurities aggravate HOCD? Also, thank you so much and what other resources can I read about HOCD and ERP, I looked at the message boards and they seemed too contemptuous for my liking.

Comments are closed.