1. When I was little, I was so shy I could barely talk to grown-ups. My dad would take me to the local bowling alley and let me get a candy bar if I’d ask for it myself at the bar. Somewhere I found the guts … anything for chocolate!
2. I’ve always battled with the desire to be the best. I didn’t just want an A; I wanted the best score in the class. I’m still this way. Sometimes I think it’s served me well (I’m a hard worker), but sometimes it kicks my butt (no one can be perfect– not everyone is going to love me … or my stories).
3. I can probably out-passive-aggressive you. That said, I have no qualms in asking for what I want.
4. I’ve been recruiting for almost a dozen years now. It’s a weird and not too enjoyable feeling to watch the kids I recruited get married before me.
5. My particular combination of strengths means that productivity is rewarding to me and relaxation is hard to come by, partly because it’s not supremely enjoyable to me. I get more pleasure out of creating than resting.
6. Except for my 3 years in college and the 3 years after, I’ve always been debt-free. It’s overwhelming to take on a mortgage. I’m terrifically motivated to pay it off early.
7. Mediocrity terrifies me.
I feel like I’d be a pretty balanced person if I had your gifts of drive and self-assurance. More productive, too.
Drive, yes, I’ve got that. Self-assurance, no. I constantly doubt myself and beat myself up. I constantly fear that I’m not doing a good enough job and that I’m going to disappear into obscurity.
So many people love you, obscurity isn’t something you ever have to worry about.
You’re so sweet.
I worry a lot about my work– like, will it be on the shelf for just three months and then the world will move on? It’s hard to think of putting three years of work (and life and tears and energy and joy) into a book only to have no fanfare or reception … but it happens all the time! Books come out every day that don’t drum up enthusiasm … and months later, they’re off the shelves, the end. I’m so scared of that.
If that happens, it happens. It would in no way undermine your achievement. But that won’t happen to you 🙂