OCD: Unwelcome but not Unexpected

How many times do I have to say that OCD is a joy-thief before I should realize: Oh.  Hmm.  You’re pretty happy right now.  OCD will be along shortly to steal that away?

I should learn to brace myself.

On Friday, November 22, I announced on Facebook and on my blog that Harper Collins offered me a two-book deal.  Shortly thereafter, amidst all the “likes” and congratulatory comments and joyful sharing, OCD came calling.

I spent the majority of the evening obsessing over future revisions.  

not you again

I practiced ERP, walking myself through that lovely mantra of “it’s POSSIBLE, but it’s not LIKELY,” then discussing with a friend (asking for no reassurance), and also spending time in prayer.

Life, as I continue to learn, is risky, and the more I learn to embrace risk and uncertainty, the happier I am.

Which is why I flat-out refuse to flat-out refuse any revision suggestions.  I will consider everything my wonderful editor suggests, knowing that God is in control and that Jill loves my characters too.

In this sense, I’m growing as an obsessive-compulsive in remission, an author, and as a person.

Jackie 1
OCD 0

Related posts:
Uncertainty is the Key
Uncertainty
Taking Risks

14 thoughts on “OCD: Unwelcome but not Unexpected

  1. When everything seems to be going well. Sometimes we get an OCD hiccup. With the help of CBT/ERP, and your meds. You were able to work through your OCD, and you knew OCD was lying to you again. Glad you are doing well, and you beat OCD. You know you are a great author, and a wonderful person. Hang in there friend. Life is a journey. Have fun.

  2. You know what to do when OCD comes along, Jackie, and it’s HUGE that you practice it and beat back the OCD. Yes, OCD will come calling (it never gives up, I guess), but you know what needs to be done. 🙂

  3. OCD is kinda always there. It’s pretty normal to want to control (especially something like a creative effort), but the OCD tentacles want control too and feed on the “not enough control.” I would say your path is correct, “Let Go and Let God.” It’s important to not hold the steering wheel of life so tightly.

  4. Thanks Jackie. I relate to OCD as a joy stealer. I had CBT therapy about over twenty years ago, and it was the revelation of my life. Before that I had suffered from (undiagnosed) Pure O since I was 16. I still have problems – I expected as much – but nothing like in the past and of course now I know I am not alone – as in, I am not a wicked individual, I have a recognised disorder. That helps. Happy to share ‘what works’.

  5. Pingback: Question & Dancer: August 2017 | JACKIE LEA SOMMERS

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