I have not written about this in the past because this is not an area that I have a good grasp on. To me, there is a fine line between enabling an obsessive-compulsive and just being a helpful supporter of that person. When I was going through cognitive-behavioral therapy, my therapist had me tell my roommate and friends that they were no longer able to reassure me about anything silly. I was instructed to tell them that if they did this, it would interfere with my therapy and decrease its opportunity for success.
So, all those times when I would ask, “Do you think that is okay? Is this sinful? Do you think I’m going to hell?” … they were supposed to answer it with something like, “I’m not allowed to answer that question.” Or “I don’t answer silly questions.” Or “I’m not going to answer and enable your OCD.”
It’s a hard position for them to be in. For the OC too!
As a Christian who believes the Bible when it says, “The truth will set you free,” I had (and still have) a hard time thinking that it is not helpful for a friend to tell someone the truth– shouldn’t that help set them free?
But then I think how I asked those questions for years and years, and all that stated truth piled up like a mountain but never moved me. Why was it that listening to a LIE– an audio recording telling me repeatedly that I was going to hell– is what ultimately unlocked the doors of my prison?
A student at the university where I worked asked me that earlier this fall– how listening to a lie could rescue me. I didn’t have an answer for her then. The more I thought about it afterward though, I realized that what had happened was that listening repeatedly to a lie started to make the lie SOUND like a lie– and that was the truth! CBT helped me recognize truth, and so in that way, it was still truth that set me free.
Does that make sense?
I’m still processing all of this and would love insight on this!
JACKIE LEA SOMMERS 
To me, your first example, where you sought reassurance as a compulsion, was not real “truth seeking,” It was part of the vicious cycle of OCD. The real truth came when you realized this reassurance was not what would help you overcome OCD; in fact,it was only digging you in deeper.
Agreed! Good insight!
That sounds kind of like my experience, too. As a Christian with Scrupulosity OCD, exposure response prevention didn’t sound Biblically correct, and still doesn’t, however, in my own life, I have experienced that it is successful. So I’ve fallen on the “lame” justification that I’ve read in books and I think my counselor told me, too, that God would be okay with this process that helped me to be a happier, healthier person. Still doesn’t make sense, but just “risk” doing wrong and go ahead with CBT and ERP when I get the guts and determination to do so (I usually put it off).
I like how you explained it, and it corresponds with my experience, that telling myself the OCD lie over and over in an exposure lets me realize that it is a lie. But I want to keep that a secret from my OCD so that it doesn’t try to use that against me. 🙂 Because I have to tell myself that the lies could be true and deal with the fear so that I can move on.
It was clear to me that OCD was a huge barrier in my relationship with God, so I guess I viewed CBT as a tool that would help fix that … and then it didn’t seem so “wrong,” since I was barreling through it to get to God.
If that even makes sense … ha!