State of the Blogger: Growing.
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Things aren’t perfect. But they aren’t stagnant, and that’s what matters here. When I think about hitting rock bottom (emotionally/mentally in 2008, physically in 2017), I can’t help but be grateful for where I am now.
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Over a decade into #freedomfromOCD and never, ever not full of genuine thankfulness for the rescue. This past week has been a hard reminder of the hell of #mentalillness, and I had a convo just yesterday about my 15 years to diagnosis and another 5 till proper treatment. In fact, on average it takes 14-17 years for a correct diagnosis and treatment of OCD. Mine took 20 total, but the last 10 have been more joyful than I could have imagined.
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It’s been nearly two years since I told HR at my school that something was wrong, that I needed help. UNW has been an absolute support to me and here I am now, no longer in constant pain, getting deep sleep, and enjoying new roles in my job. I used to notice when I wasn’t in pain, because pain had become my norm. Last night, my wrists hurt and instead of being upset, I just thought “thank you, thank you, thank you that this flare-up is even noticeable, that it’s no longer expected.”
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And I’m reading again as if books are oxygen. I find the stories and words and wisdom of these books coming pouring off my tongue every chance I get. I know they are subconsciously making me a better writer too. And (very) consciously a better person.
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There is hope, friends. There really is. I have had to become my biggest advocate and to demand that people both listen and hear me. But that’s made me powerful. My heart is so full. Yes, I still have so far to go, but I’m excited by it. The journey feels weighty with purpose and meaning. .
#blog #spoonielife #enneagram4 #spoonie #spoontheory #ocd #obsessive #exposuretherapy #erptherapy #grace #courage #growth #radicalacceptance #powerfulwomen #advocacy #selfadvocate