I told a mentor of mine: “I feel like I’m on the edge of learning so many things about myself, and it’s a hard, scary, EXCITING place to be.”

Because I’m on the rim of that canyon and not yet fallen into that knowledge, I’m using my best tool (writing) to sort through it. Welcome.

1. I am enough. More than enough. If I am not a particular man’s cup of tea, that only means he is not the one for me. It doesnt mean I am a failure or undesirable. My confidence, humor, creativity, faith, and compassion are plenty.

2. I need to choose better rewards for myself. Sugar hits the spot for about one minute, then I feel junky. NOT WORTH IT. Better rewards: feeling good, writing, time with friends, new earrings, painting my nails, a hot shower or delicious nap. All of these have better, more lasting results than sugar.

3. The body remembers trauma (both capital-T Trauma and lowercase-t trauma), and I am teaching it that the emergency has passed. Be kind.

4. Even if it’s my fault that something went bad, it’s more productive to move on and make it good than to sit in the shame and blame.

5. Everything and anything can make me miss him. But none of it has to stop me from moving on.

6. Lipstick is battle paint.

7. She who finds a good doctor is blessed.

8. Vulnerability suits me.

9. Intentionality matters.

10. I have the power to hit reset as often as I want, but I don’t go back to the factory default without putting in the work.