I finished my second draft of Yes Novel.
Except maybe me.
I’m not not excited. I think it’s more of a glass-half-full sort of thing. Everyone looks at this and says, “Look at all the hard work you’ve done!” and I look at it and think, “Look at how much hard work I have left to do.”
The manuscript is raw. Unpolished. Choppy. The characters need work. The plot needs direction. The language needs refining. I look at this and see oh my gosh there is so much ahead of me.
I tried to compare things mathematically/chronologically.
With Truest, I worked for about 20 months before my editor ever saw it. Then I worked on it for another, oh, 9-10 months with her. Plus copyedits and some late changes. But, let’s just say 30 months of work.
With Yes Novel, I worked on it for 6 months before my editor saw it. Now, it’ll be another 6 months under her direction after she read the first draft. I’m supposed to have this thing ready to go sometime in May, so if I turn it in after Thanksgiving, and let’s just say I get revisions in January, I will have another 5 months of work to put into it. That totals 17 months of work, almost half of what went into Truest.
The comparison isn’t perfect, I know, because bringing my editor into the picture so much earlier will theoretically get it on the right track faster than before. If I spent 10 months of revisions with Jill on Truest, and I will get to spend 11 with Jill on Yes Novel, then maybe you could say I’m getting more time (more quality revision time, that is).
It’s just scary. It’s lonely work. Winter is here and is just SO hard for me. In some ways, I want someone to acknowledge that this is a crappy draft just so that I can be like, “Yes, yes, I know. Okay, we’re on the same page.” Maybe that’s all I really want: someone to be on the same page as me.
You’re probably thinking one of several things:
A) I wish I had a book deal. If I did, you wouldn’t see me complaining.
B) Gosh, she complains a lot.
C) I thought she said she loved writing ???
D) This blog is too emotional.
Here are my thoughts and responses:
A) I’m so sorry if I seem to complain. Believe me, I cannot wait for your book deal too, friend, so that we can commiserate together. I never thought I’d want anything else if I could just get a book contract. I am finding that that is untrue. At least I am hungry for writing good literature, right? *pleading eyes* I just want to write a book that matters.
B) I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. I need to get my thoughts out somewhere, and my blog is it.
C) I do. I really do. But, well, as Bukowski said, “Find what you love and let it kill you.” I have. I am. It is.
D) I know. I’m a hot mess. Please someone come scrape me off the floor.
I need some support. Would you please comment with some encouragement, plus something you’re excited about right now, plus where you suggest I move that has more forgiving winters than Minnesota. 🙂