So, it’s basically Friday. Or it will be in one hour. Which means that my book comes out in four days.
I’m better now. Happier. I saw my therapist, and that was just what I needed. She reminded me that there are certain things I said I couldn’t hold right now … but that I’d tried to pick back up anyway. I set them back down.
I’m tired. I can never seem to get enough done. Every night, by the time I’ve gotten everything I need to do out of the way and am ready to write, it’s bedtime. Right now, it’s an hour past bedtime, but I said screw it and stayed up to work on rearranging a few scenes in novel #2 based on thoughts I’ve had all evening. I think it’s going to work.
But every morning I’m exhausted. I just don’t understand how I’m supposed to make this whole twenty-four-hours-a-day thing work. Yes, I know Beyonce has the same number of hours. But does she spend nine of them in a cubicle recruiting?
Not that I want to whine about my UNW job. It’s been such a joy and blessing to have the students back– and all the wonderful new students too! Today, three freshmen and a senior stopped in to just shoot the breeze with me and my co-workers, and it reminded me: I love this place.
I do. So much.
I’m eager. I’ve been waiting about twenty-five years for Tuesday to arrive. My book. In the world. An author. Me. I’m a little sad that September 2nd will be back to business as usual, except … it will be business as usual but with a book in the world.
I’m full. Of emotions. Of gratitude. Of desire. Of love for my characters in both of my books. Of ideas. Of readiness. Of poetry. I’m full but I still want more.