I have friends and family who absolutely cannot understand me when I say that I do not love Christmastime. I love what it stands for, but most years, it felt like a season to simply survive.
In Minnesota, it’s cold and snowy and dark before you even leave work. There’s this strange pressure to be joyful that somehow results in a meta-awareness of not fitting the mold. In the light generated by the holidays, the darkness of depression becomes even more obvious.
Thankfully, so, SO much in my life has been redeemed in the last five years since ERP. But I can still remember when the holidays were the very hardest time of the year for me (I suppose it would be true to say that they still are the hardest time). I know that there are many of you out there who cannot wait until the calendar flips to the new year and normalcy will return (even if normalcy leaves much to be desired).
I get it.
I am thinking of you this season. Jesus Christ, whose birth we are celebrating, is big enough to hold such heavy hearts.
Christmas isn’t fun for everyone.
Holidays are hard for some of us.
Great post, Jackie. Yes, I relate to this a lot. I feel “different,” too, from others during the holidays. I just don’t have the energy or the mindset to run and around and decorate everything, shop until I drop, bake, have parties, go to parties, etc. that so many seem to enjoy. But that’s OK. We’re all different. We just need to remember that we all fit in somewhere. 🙂