One of the worst bouts of intrusive thoughts I’ve had occurred for me in high school. For a time, my intrusive thoughts were “God, I promise that I will …”
It could be something stupid. Touch this lamp. Not eat toast.
But more often, it was something more difficult, a much bigger deal. The one that kept forcing its way into my mind was, “God, I promise that I will go to hell.”
Well, that was a conundrum, eh?
I was a wreck. I kept picturing myself getting to heaven’s gate and once I stepped inside those pearly gates– well, just doing so would then be breaking a promise to God (i.e., sinning), and then, wouldn’t I then get thrown out of heaven for my sin?
I was screwed either way.
Or so I thought.
But you can’t believe everything you think. AMEN.
Has anyone else had intrusive thoughts similar to these?
JACKIE LEA SOMMERS 
I often have intrusive thoughts of “God made me wrong” and “He doesn’t really care about me” sometimes. Often it’s like it’s coming from outside of me.
It is interesting when I read stories like this my heart breaks for that person because I know that they aren’t true, but when it comes to my own intrusive thoughts, they might as well be truth set in stone.
I’m the same way, AJ … as a mentor of high school and college students, there are things I could confidently say to them that I couldn’t tell myself. Total OCD double-standard. 😛
AJ said it so well. Yes, I have these thoughts. When I was in high school, they tended to center around if I was loving others “perfectly.” Now, it’s overwhelming thoughts that I can’t pray if I’m not sure God exists. Super frustrating and distracting when I’m trying to pray, even a small prayer.
Oh, I have had many similar thoughts. And I used to promise God that I wouldn’t do a compulsion, and then I would do it, then I would ask for forgiveness, but I had to pray in a certain way, over and over. I still have difficulty praying–I tend to think that I have to say the words in a certain way.
Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts in which I pray for things I don’t want to happen and feel the urge to neutralize them by thinking “No (I don’t want this to happen)” or something. I described one in this post: http://itsnotmeitsmyocd.wordpress.com/2013/02/25/feeling-frustrated/
I used to have these kinds of thoughts all the time. It hasn’t bothered me for awhile now, but when I first started having them, whoo, I was a wreck. >_>
A lot of times, though, the thoughts are about the things I like and whether God’s “telling” me to not do them anymore or not. Like, I’ll pray, telling God that I give everything in my life to him and if he doesn’t want me to do such and such – if he wants to “kill it,” in other words (oh God, I kind of rue the day I came across that phrase in regard to doing what God wants me to do, because IT WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE) – to please tell me so that I’m doing what he wants (because of course I’d feel guilty if I didn’t).
Cue a few minutes later coming across something – a trigger phrase (i.e. “Just say goodbye”) or other coincidental happenstance – or having a thought pop into my head that spikes me to high heaven, wondering if God’s trying to get something through to me or if I just have tunnel vision because of my OCD and I’m just reading too much into things. 😦
I had obsessions about asking Satan into my heart for awhile. I would get the thought and try to shut it down. I remember this bible verse helping me: “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
I think it was the thought that God could see past my OCD, to my true self, to my true intentions….that lessened the fear. I still have trouble reading the bible, however.
Explore my site and learn about Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, a branch of CBT! It’s the #1 treatment for OCD and what God used to set me FREEEEEE!!!
I am, thanks! Your blog has helped me to integrate the whole OCD/religion thing and get a less distorted picture of things. I go in to meet with a therapist next week. I’m so ready to feel okay again. Your blog is a fantastic resource! I’m truly, truly glad you never gave up. :]
Oh my goodness, thank you! You’re so kind. It’s my absolute joy to tell people about what Christ has done for me. 🙂
Let me know how your meeting with your therapist goes next week! Can’t wait to hear!
I found this blog when i googled “obsessive promises”… Sometimes i have this feeling i am promising things that i dont want to promise and even when i fight it, i cannot help promising.
Mostly its things that i like to do, but i feel this “like” is somehow selfish. Like for example getting a coffee or wearing a certain shirt. Or studying something that i like to learn.
Then i cannot help it, but there seems to be this kind of pressure in my mind and it decides and says for a split second something like “i will quit doing this.”
And after that i feel like i made an eternel promise. I even wrote some of them on a paper because i might forget.
I think this is not the way God wants my mind to work, but i also feel “i cannot take the risk”. I pray God will make it clear and helps me not to make promises anymore.
Anyway, i am glad to read that maybe other people have this too…
Hi Philip, for me it was OCD, which I treated with exposure and response prevention therapy. I don’t struggle with this anymore in the five years since ERP! If you think you might have OCD, you should be diagnosed by a professional and then do at least 12 weeks of ERP therapy!
I also had this problem please.help.me