I really can’t tell if it’s healthy or not.
I love productivity. So. Freakin’. Much. If I don’t accomplish some kind of “creative work” each day (writing and/or reading), I feel like a failure.
This is not to say I don’t also get rest. I take naps quite often– long, robust, three-hour-long naps. And I sleep about 6-7 hours a night.
But I find it hard to just pop a movie into the DVD player, lie on the couch, and watch it. I want to be working on something at the same time. I find myself pairing mindless work with creative work all the time, just so that I can still be finding purpose in the mindless work. If I am cleaning or driving or on a walk, I want to be listening to an audiobook. If I want to play a game of online Tetris, I will listen to scripture simultaneously. I even listen to audiobooks while I fall asleep at night and sometimes when I am getting ready for work in the morning. To me, there is something so purposeful in reading. I have to augment the mindless tasks this way or I go crazy.
I keep a document on my computer called “Current Goals”– there are usually about six on there. I like to attack them as if I’m a warrior, and I love to keep all these plates spinning at once.
I am thinking about productivity right now because– as my blog readers know– I just totally restructured my novel in 6 weeks, in time for the workshop in California. And now that I am back, I have been busy re-drafting yet again, and tonight just delivered the revised manuscript to the editor I hired in January. I put a load of laundry in and thought, Now, you should just put a movie on and relax the rest of the night.
But I felt like I really should either start a new book or else tackle a new poem I want to write.
So, let me ask, do I have a healthy or unhealthy relationship with productivity? What do you guys think?